The real definition of a godly woman
March 13, 2007
Since I grew up in a very conservative Christian home, I know full well how the Bible Belt would define a godly woman. She would submit to her husband, she would meekly obey her husband and she would take care of the kids and the house without complaint. That is what their holy book demands.
However, if you ask me, that version of a godly woman is dated and sexist. Therefore, I think it is high time to revise that stale definition of a godly woman and to make it something that is far more gender equitable.
As a Christian, I struggled with wrapping my mind around the injustices meted out to women by holy books written eons ago. It is bad enough that little girls must hear how evil they are because some fictitious woman ate an apple long ago in a far away place, but it is even worse when normal biological occurrences, like painful labor during birth, is attributed to the curse of being a woman.
In the spirit of the new rise of gender equality that is spreading around the world through the UN’s new efforts to help women gain ground in politics, business and education, it can be easily concluded that before any of these other areas experience real change, an important area that must change is religion.
So what would a godly woman look like in the 21st century?
I do not believe for one second that any individual is on this earth for sole purpose of serving another person – as the world’s current holy books have decreed. Women should not degrade and restrict themselves by submitting to such debasing teachings as those put forth by these ancient texts, which are still practiced in the 21st century.
Both men and women should reach as far as possible intellectually in a joint effort to accomplish the utmost for mankind. Both male and female should function at full capacity at all times and work together without regard to gender by acknowledging the separate strengths of each gender.
With this in mind, a godly woman would be educated as much as possible, operating at optimum capacity without any social or political restraints to hold her back and would never, never, never submit her will to a man just because he requires it of her.
A godly woman would expect her spouse to equally share household chores if she chose to work outside of the house. She would make sure to help with those chores if she chose to work fulltime outside of the home and the man was the primary caregiver for the children. Likewise, she would require the same in a reversed role.
A godly woman would be quick to speak against sexism and she would never tolerate a man who abused her or her children physically, sexually, emotionally or mentally. A godly woman would be in full control of her body, including her sexuality and reproduction rights.
Of course, a godly woman would also gladly help others when it is within her power. She would freely dole out a perfect mix of compassion and wise counsel.
A godly woman would accomplish as much as she wanted, she would reach as far as she could reach and she would never feel guilty for being successful and intelligent. She owns her own properties, runs her own businesses and manages her own finances if she so chooses.
What is a godly woman? She is the quick-thinking lady who does not shy away from telling Bible-thumpers and Koran-pushers that she is her own woman and she refuses to succumb to the dated and sexist teaching of their holy books. Anything less would be a sin.
- by Stellar1
Entry Filed under: Stellar1. Tags: agnostic, atheism, Bible, christianity, faith, freethinking, morality, religion, skepticism, spirituality, women.
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1.
John | March 22, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Stellar, from my limited point of view, i have no issue with your definition of a Godly woman. you are correcting in saying the Bible calls women to submit to me, but it also calls men to care for their wives. ultimately you have a couple who is working together to acheive everything God calls them to do. to have a woman who submits to a man without a man who serves his wife, you have something that is not the biblical ideal of marriage. it’s what many call an unequally yoked marriage.
2.
www.rss.femininityline.com | April 2, 2007 at 8:24 pm
[...] [...] An atheist’s definition of a godly woman [...] [...]
3.
grizelda3 | April 7, 2007 at 2:14 pm
Too bad the ideas in this post aren’t a part of any religious canon. Xenophobia will never be addressed until we stop hating our own wives, mothers, sisters, and daughters.
Thank you for this thoughtful post, Stellar1.
-griz
4.
Anonymous | July 16, 2007 at 8:06 pm
I can’t believe what I am reading. What you are saying is very selfish in it self. Have you ever read the bible God took a rib from Adam to make a women named Eve. I believe the whole reason we are here is to assist, also it takes a humble person to deny themselve. There is nothing wrong with that. I believe one of are biggest problems today in marriage is because of things you are talking about.
5.
Thinking Ape | July 16, 2007 at 10:03 pm
“I believe one of are biggest problems today in marriage is because of things you are talking about.”
Yes, a marriage is always easier when one person submits to another. Less conflicts that way - in fact, we should apply that to our governments again as well (feudalism is fun!). I am sure this is why divorce rates are higher among conservative Christians than any other religious or non-religious group.
I admit I love when the Biblical pseudo-literalist grasps for the husband must care for wife, as if that is some sort of equality statement or even remotely progressive (even for their time). The Qur’an speaks about women as favourably as the Bible - but it is so nice to women that it allows for men to “take care of” more than one woman. Maybe we need to take the “white” off of Kipling’s “White Man’s Burden” for a more biblical perspective.
6.
Anonymous | December 3, 2007 at 7:16 pm
before the fall man and women where one. after Adam blamed god for giving him eve and not taking responsibility for is action. the oneness broke between Adam and his wife. Imagine the broken heart eve had when her husband said what he said.back in genis it is says seed of the women will bruise the snake meaning saten. the father was talking about how he would defeat saten through a women meaning Jesus came from a women. I believe that when we read the bible we should take not only this into account but the time, history and culture at the time.
it says in the bible we are all equal, we all have different qualities and gift. But we must remember that the masculinity we see is not the one god created it became fallen masculinity and as well a fallen femininity
I hope this makes sence
7.
Anonymous | December 3, 2007 at 7:22 pm
Saten has a special hatred for women. because it was the seed of a women that defeat him. that why is so many culture even today the oppression of women still exist. Even our society make us believe that femininity is negative. but if there no femininity what happens to out children. it the heart of Femininity that nurtures are children in to life. it puts a container into the heart of a child so they can receive and give love away.
8.
jg | March 10, 2008 at 10:11 pm
You make some very sympathetic points…. and its easy to feel bad for women who are subjected to this ‘caveman’ type treatment that you say the Bible demands.. However, as a Christian, its our responsibility to live as the Bible lays out. The world will try to put these ‘feelings’ of injustice and equality in your head and it seems like its getting to you…..
If you can provide scripture that backs up your points…I would be interested in seeing them. If you can’t, I think you’re purposefully disobeying God, and resisting his Word.
9.
Thinking Ape | March 10, 2008 at 10:57 pm
jg states,
As a human being, it is our responsibility to treat ourselves as we ourselves would be treated. That said, how do you, jg, treat your slaves?
10.
roopster | March 11, 2008 at 8:12 am
jg,
There are no scriptures that support Stella’s point. I think that was the point of her post.
The reality is, these are the types of scriptures that are in the Bible:
http://de-conversion.com/2007/03/08/with-sincere-apologies-to-the-ladies/
So, if you’re looking for Biblical support for treating women as equals, you pretty much have to ignore those scriptures (which many do). Of course, this is the same methodology Christians have to use to say that God is “compassionate, kind, and merciful” when the Bible clearly shows he’s not: see http://literalbible.blogspot.com
Paul
11.
ED | March 11, 2008 at 9:34 am
The biblical definition of a godly woman is, “Property.” She is listed in the ten commandments just ahead of a toaster. If a woman is raped she is to be killed because of the shame she has brought on her husband.
Is the bible sexist? No, it is pure evil when it comes to the treatment of women. If you are looking for a biblical definition of a godly woman, she is a slave with no rights. The new testament does at least say that husbands should love their wives. WOW, wasn’t Paul a great guy. He also said that owners of slaves should not beat their slaves to the point of putting out their eyes or breaking their teeth. Very Generous.
12.
Mike Clawson | March 11, 2008 at 12:48 pm
The organization Christians for Biblical Equality provides an alternative view to the belief that the Bible endorses male domination. They have many helpful resources at their site.
13.
J | April 7, 2008 at 10:53 am
It’s amazing to me that people can misunderstand and be so against God’s Word-it doesn’t surprise me though-it’s fast becoming nothing surprises me anymore-no matter how absurd. God’s Word is righteous and good…Christianity is about loving others and obeying God, not obeying ourselves or what is popular. I’m not saying there isn’t a penalty for sin, there is…and that’s where our choices come into it. Why obey God and His ‘outdated’ commandments? Because in the end, it’s what is good for you, the people you love, and anyone you may come in contact with–and it will never be outdated. Becuase if you believe in God and the Bible and in the work Jesus did for us to save us from our sins, then you will want to show God you love Him by obeying Him. If one has a hard heart towards God and a secular view, one will not understand…God’s ways will seem foolish to them. Women are extremely important…they are to use their God given skills to first serve God, then make a good marriage, home, and raise their children…REAL women are in charge of something much more important than a career…they are in charge of their family, the molding of their children…the legacy of their family…to a large part where their children will spend eternity…HARD, TOUGH WORK. Wives and mothers should be cherished, loved, and commended. A lot of it is in a woman’s values, priorities, and perspecitves.
14.
LeoPardus | April 7, 2008 at 11:27 am
All:
What we need is a banner at the top that say, “Don’t post here until you’ve read enough to have some idea who we are.”
J:
We are all former Christians here. Many of us were pastors, Bible study leaders, apologists, students of theology, and the like. Look in the archives for “So who are the decons anyway” to get a fuller idea.
So you’re coming in here spouting the bromides we’ve heard 1000’s of times isn’t going to get you anything but dismissed as a big mouth. Try asking why we believe as we do. Try learning and getting to know and understanding. Because preaching is NOT going to get you anywhere.
15.
steph | April 7, 2008 at 2:37 pm
hi. i think this is my first post here, but i’m a regular visitor…
anyway, the whole idea that a woman’s role is to be in submission to her husband is based on the belief in original sin - that adam and eve actually existed and that eve did, in fact, sin first. that’s what is alluded to whenever the supposed subordinate role of women is mentioned in the bible. eve sinned first so now and forevermore women are automatically demoted to a place below men.
however, if the garden of eden never happened and humans evolved to be male or female based on unbiased chromosomes that have no ulterior motives, then the whole argument falls apart. every reference to the role of women holds absolutely no water because the very foundation for this belief is false. it all amounts to just another creation myth (among many) and is used as yet another way to keep women “in their place”.
i’m tired of reading responses by christians that reference original sin in any capacity because no garden of eden = no adam and eve = no original sin. no eve sinned first, so all women are evil and weak and lesser-than. a person’s gender is arbitrary. no roles. just people.
16.
bitter old maid | April 8, 2008 at 11:31 am
J’s vision of women is the kind of off-putting rhetoric that leaves me feeling alienated from the church. With that philosophy of the “good wife and mother” in place, a single, childless woman such as myself is very devalued. You should see the “well what the hell do we do with you” attitude I encounter when visiting a church and they find out I have no family. I guess I could always teach sunday school–influence my pseudo-kids– and attend the “seeker’s class” looking for that man to complete my life. The only time I’ve ever felt as “useless” is when I lived in a predominantly Islamic society.
17.
karen | April 8, 2008 at 12:31 pm
I’m so sorry you get treated like this.
I understand what you mean, and I saw single women very much devalued in the churches I used to attend (I’m now an agnostic atheist).
I recall that the most “acceptable” roles for single women of a certain age were limited to missionary and sunday school teacher. The idea that a woman could be powerful on her own, and career-minded, was very alien to church culture.
18.
LeoPardus | April 8, 2008 at 12:51 pm
I noted the inability of most Protestant churches to figure out what to do with single people. They had little enough for single men and were really out to sea when it came to single women. Once again, I get to do an “ad” for the EOC.
The EOC just isn’t put out by single people. There’s no pressure to get married because the EOC views singleness as being at least as valuable as “marriedness”. In fact there are quite a number of EOC folks who rate singleness higher.
Single people not only can do anything married people can do, but they also can become monastics. That may not sound like much, but in the EOC monastics are treated like celebrities.
The screwed up, incomplete view of singles and women is just one more piece of the overall picture of bankruptcy that drove us out of the P church.
19.
bitter old maid | April 8, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I visited an EOC church with a friend when in college. Perhaps I’ll give it a try again….unless I decide to write off church-going all together…which is how I’m currently leaning….for more reasons than just the treatment of single adult females, of course. I’m gradually becoming more and more agnostic, and I find it to be a heart-breaking experience. I appreciate the openness on this website.
20.
Quester | April 8, 2008 at 2:39 pm
I went to a Roman Catholic discernment weekend once, where a woman got up and presented on the vocation of being single. She wasn’t planning on becoming a nun. She wasn’t planning on becoming married. She spoke quite eloquently on being “called to be single” as a third vocation.
21.
LeoPardus | April 8, 2008 at 3:16 pm
Old Maid:
Visit an EOC if you like. I’d strongly suggest you do a bit of reading first. At the very least read the pamphlet “12 Things I Wish I’d Known before my First Visit to an Orthodox Church” by Frederica Matthewes-Green. The EOC is like an alien planet to almost any Protestant.
Of course as you’re headed to agnosticism, the EOC would only be a curiosity. I’m only still there because my family believes and there are good friends there.
22.
The Apostate | April 8, 2008 at 3:34 pm
But hasn’t there always been a screwed up view of “singleness” and “marriedness” in Christianity, even from the beginning? One doesn’t get too far in to the gospels or into Paul to see that married life was hardly an elevated Christian status. Jesus, according to the Gospels, repeatedly stressed the importance of the Kingdom of God over the family, and Paul, well… is Paul (I mean, if you really satisfy that burning passion, go get married, otherwise…). The view of matrimony in the Christian church has certainly had its ups and downs, but it is certainly one of the places where fundamentalists have purposely ignored the scriptures.
23.
LeoPardus | April 8, 2008 at 5:03 pm
But hasn’t there always been a screwed up view of “singleness” and “marriedness” in Christianity, even from the beginning?
I can’t really say. I know some of the things that Jesus and Paul say in the NT that you’re referring to. It’s hard to know how to take them. I mean who knows when they may have been speaking to a particular audience, or hyperbolically, or allegorically, or out of their arses?
But to be sure, religions usually seem to produce screwed up views of marriage, singleness, sex, family, etc.
The EOC seems to have one of the better balanced views today, but that seems to be an evolved view, not one they started with centuries ago. And even within the EOC there are those with skewed views.
24.
karen | April 8, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Yes. We know what you’re talking about, I think. All of us here have gone through that heartbreak, to some degree or other.
Your deconversion (if it comes to that) is definitely something you have to come to on your own, but please do feel free to read some of our stories and pose questions if we can help you sort anything out.
25.
George | April 8, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Oh wow… you guys are truly clueless. I don’t know what kind of messed up churches you have been a part of, but it’s time to bring some real light to the situation.
I’ll show this post to my wife… we’ll see what she has to say.
26.
The Apostate | April 9, 2008 at 11:37 am
George, please, think before you write. Read the comments, they might help you.