I found out what is wrong with Christianity: It’s been Feminized!
March 24, 2007
I was wrong. I’ve been encouraging Christians to be kinder, more compassionate, and more tolerant. I believed that these were traits they should demonstrate. I’ve spoken against misogyny and campaigned for Christians to treat women as equals and for churches to be more “women friendly.”
Then in my nightly reading of blogs, I read the atheist blog, “Pass Me My Bible, Bitch,” by No More Hornets. The blog is in reference to a church for men cleverly named “Church For Men.” I checked out their website and immediately saw the errors of my way.
Here’s what they wrote to women:
Church offers the things women crave: safety, relationships, nurturing, and close-knit community. The rules are: be nice. Be sensitive. Be gentle. We promise a personal relationship with a man who loves you unconditionally.
On the other hand, men need adventure, challenge and risk – but these things are discouraged in church. Change moves at a glacial pace – because it has the potential to hurt people’s feelings. Any man who tries to bring risk into his local congregation will quickly find himself in the gun sights of a longtime member.
Volunteer opportunities in the local church revolve around traditionally feminine roles: childcare, teaching, music, hospitality and cooking. Men who want to serve in church often end up passing out bulletins or attending meetings. Where is the adventure in that?
Men are dying for a leader, but we’ve turned Christ into a lover. Today’s Jesus is sensitive, caring and beautiful. Our praise music has the same breathless feel and romantic lyrics as top-40 love songs. Jesus barked, “Follow Me!” but we’ve softened that; it’s now, “Have a personal relationship with Me.”
You may think that the church is too male-dominated, harsh and legalistic. Some churches are this way – but far more common are comforting churches where the real agenda is making everyone feel loved, accepted, and busy. While there’s nothing wrong with this lineup, it’s not going to get many men out of bed on a Sunday morning.
Men are absenting themselves from church because they cannot function in a feminine environment. We might as well invite men to a baby shower. Men know that church is not for them; that’s why it’s earned a reputation as a place for little old ladies of both genders.
They continued this line of thinking in their section written to the men:
How did Christianity, founded by a man and his 12 male disciples, become the province of women? There is a pattern of feminization in Christianity going back at least 700 years, according to Dr. Leon Podles, author of The Church Impotent: the Feminization of Christianity. But the ball really got rolling in the 1800s. With the dawning of the industrial revolution, large numbers of men sought work in mines, mills and factories, far from home and familiar parish. Women stayed behind, and began remaking the church in their image. The Victorian era saw the rise of church nurseries, Sunday schools, lay choirs, quilting circles, ladies’ teas, soup kitchens, girls’ societies, potluck dinners, etc.
Soon, the very definition of a good Christian had changed: boldness and aggression were out; passivity and receptivity were in. Christians were to be gentle, sensitive and nurturing, focused on home and family rather than accomplishment and career. Believers were not supposed to like sex, tobacco, dancing or other worldly pleasures. The godly were always calm, polite and sociable.This feminine spirituality still dominates our churches. Those of us who grew up in church hardly notice it; we can’t imagine things any other way. But a male visitor detects the feminine spirit the moment he walks in the sanctuary door. He may feel like Tom Sawyer in Aunt Polly’s parlor; he must watch his language, mind his manners and be extra polite. It’s hard for a man to be real in church because he must squeeze himself into this feminine religious mold.
Men, if you’ve felt out of place in church, it’s not your fault. If you’ve tried and failed to get a men’s ministry going in your church, it’s not your fault. If you can’t get your buddies interested in church, it’s not your fault. The church system is getting the results it’s designed to get. Until that system changes – radically – men will continue to perish, both inside and outside our congregations.
Some of you don’t know what I’m talking about. A feminized church? Some guys are happy with church just as it is, and see no need for change. Others are the sensitive type and actually like the macho-deficit. But try to see church through the eyes of a typical guy. It’s intimidating for a man to hold hands in a circle, to cry in public, or to imagine falling deeply in love with another man (even if his name is Jesus).
In other words, the church is too much about being kind, compassionate, and tolerant. Apparently these are feminine traits. The church really isn’t against women. In fact, the church has been “feminized” and men need reclaim church for themselves hence a church for men. GRUNT!
- The de-Convert
Entry Filed under: The de-Convert. Tags: agnostic, atheism, Bible, christianity, faith, freethinking, religion, skepticism, spirituality, women.
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1.
George | March 24, 2007 at 2:17 am
GREAT! Now we have a place where we can scratch our balls, fart, eat pizza, drink beer, and watch sports in peace!
2.
stellar1 | March 24, 2007 at 5:29 am
As if things were not bad enough for women already, some assholes like this have to come along and act like they just came from the Dark Ages.
Funny, all the time I grew up in a very strict fundamentalist church, I never once saw any man allow a woman to preach from the pulpit. I do remember being taught that I was a daughter of Eve, sinful by nature, and therefore, subjected to all men because of my supposed weaknesses.
Sounds to me like the person who wrote that content wants to be a barbarian – no manners, no sensitivity to the feelings of others, not even music. Honestly, when I read nonsense like this, it is so difficult to believe we live in the 21st century.
3.
The de-Convert | March 24, 2007 at 8:47 am
Actually, it’s not the ladies that “feminized” Christianity. It’s the founders.
Jesus said:
Paul talked about being humble and walking in the fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, & self-control).
Why are these feminine qualities?
4.
pastorofdisaster | March 24, 2007 at 7:16 am
I’m glad all the women who supported Jesus’ ministry in Luke knew their place. Ahh, if we could just get back to the way it was meant to be. Like it was for Jesus and the disciples……………it would be utopia! Sorry, I got lost in an ecstatic vision of complete maleness.
So, when did I change into my full camouflage fatigues and paint my toenails pink?
5.
j4jesus | March 24, 2007 at 7:17 am
AA, I understand your frustration with all of this and it can be taken too far, but as a Pastor, there is a large grain of truth in it all. Jesus called his followers to go adventurously into a world where doing his work got many of them killed. Childcare and church building projects don’t quite do that and I do believe that men do have a natural need for adventure.
We somehow forget that while Jesus encouraged tolerance and compassion, he also noted that the coming of his kingdom would bring division and force people to make radical decisions that involved believing and following him or not believing and not following him.
George, you’ve hit the nail on the head in your comments. Men really do want (and need) churches that stop telling them that being a man is wrong!
6.
j4jesus | March 24, 2007 at 11:01 am
They are not feminine qualities, but they are not intended to negate the danger and risk that can be associated with the gospel; nor do they deny some of the essential nature of what it means to be a man. That’s all I’m saying.
While Jesus also encouraged such a lifestyle, he also called men to decision and leadership and to taking his message to the world. It is a message that flies in the face of most of western culture and much of eastern culture. That makes it dangerous, edgy, and radical.
7.
j4jesus | March 24, 2007 at 11:02 am
By the way, my use of “men” above is not intended to be “men” only but both men and women!
8.
grizelda3 | March 24, 2007 at 5:40 pm
“…Jesus as lover.”
Jesus loves me, this I know. But he still thinks about other women when we’re doin’ it.
–griz
9.
rockeast | August 9, 2007 at 10:23 am
do u know one of the gretest reason men allowed the protestant revolution to take place was because they hated the feminized catholic church…but what r we seein today protestant church has allowed itself 2 b feminized!is there any hope 4 the church in future…there is
10.
southernbygraceofgod | December 21, 2007 at 10:24 pm
I have been a life long christian and find that things just seem a little…well…girly. From the songs, to the hand holding, a lot of things just seem to lack a connection for men. Is it because so many women are more actively involved in the community (committees, choirs, etc.) and thus unknowingly ‘drive’ things into the feminine aesthetic? I don’t know. Unfortunately, I have to agree with this article.
11.
Digital Dame | August 3, 2008 at 12:17 pm
‘Cause we all know it ain’t really church if you can’t bring your hunting dogs and guns, start fights, slap your bitch around, kill a bear with your bare hands, shotgun beer, give up bathing and all those manly things. I bet that’d bring in all those manly men.
12.
The de-Convert | August 4, 2008 at 12:13 am
Check out this post on Seminarian Blog:
http://seminarianblog.com/2008/07/men-few-in-the-pews/
Paul
13.
Digital Dame | August 4, 2008 at 12:53 am
Ok, well, I shot my mouth off over there, guess I’ll wait for the fallout
Those Promise Keepers (mentioned at that site) frankly scare the hell out of me. Insidious way to put the “little woman” in her place.
They’re kind of a covert Christian jihad.
14.
The de-Convert | August 4, 2008 at 12:57 am
LOL…. Even as a Christian I could not get into Promise Keepers. It’s funny how they cloak misogyny into the concept of “we’re hangin out here for the benefit of our wives.”
15.
lifeinthesack | August 4, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Hey de-Convert, Thanks for tellin it like it is!! It pisses me off when positive traits are said to be primarily Male-dominated or female-dominated, it keeps us from actualizing our full potential as human beings. We need to quit trying to pigeon-hole each other and accept the fact that social conditioning has way more to do with it than anything. I’m a woman who loves risk and adventure *as well as* being a good person and not trampling over others to get stuff done. I get stuff done through the use of a little thing called tact. ever hear that saying about the bees and the honey? Some of the rest of you might want to think on that…