I found out what is wrong with Christianity: It’s been Feminized!
I was wrong. I’ve been encouraging Christians to be kinder, more compassionate, and more tolerant. I believed that these were traits they should demonstrate. I’ve spoken against misogyny and campaigned for Christians to treat women as equals and for churches to be more “women friendly.”
Then in my nightly reading of blogs, I read the atheist blog, “Pass Me My Bible, Bitch,” by No More Hornets. The blog is in reference to a church for men cleverly named “Church For Men.” I checked out their website and immediately saw the errors of my way.
Here’s what they wrote to women:
Church offers the things women crave: safety, relationships, nurturing, and close-knit community. The rules are: be nice. Be sensitive. Be gentle. We promise a personal relationship with a man who loves you unconditionally.
On the other hand, men need adventure, challenge and risk – but these things are discouraged in church. Change moves at a glacial pace – because it has the potential to hurt people’s feelings. Any man who tries to bring risk into his local congregation will quickly find himself in the gun sights of a longtime member.
Volunteer opportunities in the local church revolve around traditionally feminine roles: childcare, teaching, music, hospitality and cooking. Men who want to serve in church often end up passing out bulletins or attending meetings. Where is the adventure in that?
Men are dying for a leader, but we’ve turned Christ into a lover. Today’s Jesus is sensitive, caring and beautiful. Our praise music has the same breathless feel and romantic lyrics as top-40 love songs. Jesus barked, “Follow Me!” but we’ve softened that; it’s now, “Have a personal relationship with Me.”
You may think that the church is too male-dominated, harsh and legalistic. Some churches are this way – but far more common are comforting churches where the real agenda is making everyone feel loved, accepted, and busy. While there’s nothing wrong with this lineup, it’s not going to get many men out of bed on a Sunday morning.
Men are absenting themselves from church because they cannot function in a feminine environment. We might as well invite men to a baby shower. Men know that church is not for them; that’s why it’s earned a reputation as a place for little old ladies of both genders.
They continued this line of thinking in their section written to the men:
How did Christianity, founded by a man and his 12 male disciples, become the province of women? There is a pattern of feminization in Christianity going back at least 700 years, according to Dr. Leon Podles, author of The Church Impotent: the Feminization of Christianity. But the ball really got rolling in the 1800s. With the dawning of the industrial revolution, large numbers of men sought work in mines, mills and factories, far from home and familiar parish. Women stayed behind, and began remaking the church in their image. The Victorian era saw the rise of church nurseries, Sunday schools, lay choirs, quilting circles, ladies’ teas, soup kitchens, girls’ societies, potluck dinners, etc.
Soon, the very definition of a good Christian had changed: boldness and aggression were out; passivity and receptivity were in. Christians were to be gentle, sensitive and nurturing, focused on home and family rather than accomplishment and career. Believers were not supposed to like sex, tobacco, dancing or other worldly pleasures. The godly were always calm, polite and sociable.This feminine spirituality still dominates our churches. Those of us who grew up in church hardly notice it; we can’t imagine things any other way. But a male visitor detects the feminine spirit the moment he walks in the sanctuary door. He may feel like Tom Sawyer in Aunt Polly’s parlor; he must watch his language, mind his manners and be extra polite. It’s hard for a man to be real in church because he must squeeze himself into this feminine religious mold.
Men, if you’ve felt out of place in church, it’s not your fault. If you’ve tried and failed to get a men’s ministry going in your church, it’s not your fault. If you can’t get your buddies interested in church, it’s not your fault. The church system is getting the results it’s designed to get. Until that system changes – radically – men will continue to perish, both inside and outside our congregations.
Some of you don’t know what I’m talking about. A feminized church? Some guys are happy with church just as it is, and see no need for change. Others are the sensitive type and actually like the macho-deficit. But try to see church through the eyes of a typical guy. It’s intimidating for a man to hold hands in a circle, to cry in public, or to imagine falling deeply in love with another man (even if his name is Jesus).
In other words, the church is too much about being kind, compassionate, and tolerant. Apparently these are feminine traits. The church really isn’t against women. In fact, the church has been “feminized” and men need reclaim church for themselves hence a church for men. GRUNT!
- The de-Convert