Rejecting Christianity helped me realize my independence
I have not always been so strongly affirming of women’s rights. In fact, I grew up in a very conservative religious home where, even though my mother was a single parent, the expectation to conform to the ideals of the church was very evident on a daily basis. I did rebel, though not in the way most would think. I didn’t go out to drink and party. I rebelled by my rejection of 1) the ideals and notions of the church concerning women (and many other points as well), and 2) the notion that everything the church had to say was truth. In fact, if I didn’t reject the infallibility of the church I would have never been able to reject its dogma.
So from a young age I rejected the social values set for me concerning traditional feminine roles. I wouldn’t accept that I was any less intelligent or capable than the males around me. It just simply was not part of my make up. I didn’t even entertain those ideas long enough to let them flourish. Instead, I would get upset each time an outward manifestation of these expectations was displayed. It would infuriate me when I was put down so that a male could be honored – simply because he was a male and I was not.
During these times though, I never really made a big stink about my feelings. I had other things to deal with in life – as do most urban dwelling children. However, as I matured and began thinking for myself, it was obvious to me that I could never be the type of woman who would follow these traditional feminine roles. In the spirit of truthfulness though, it would be dishonest of me to not mention my many attempts to comply with Christian thought and practice. Nevertheless, each attempt left me more miserable than the one before since I could not intellectually accept my assumed role as a woman.
As I allowed my independence to bloom, I discovered there is so much beauty that comes from being a woman whose completion comes from a well-rounded life. It’s time to reject the traditional roles we watched our mothers perform so obediently. It’s time to be our own woman with our own dreams and pursuits in life. It’s time to relax and enjoy our time with our partners without all the pressure and despair of a relationship built on archaic Biblical text that requires women to be subjected to men. Independence and solid relationships are not mutually exclusive terms. In fact, they have proven to make quite a dynamic combination.
Ladies, we are beautiful in our independence and that beauty is multiplied when we share our independence with those around us. My de-conversion journey has helped me to see this even more clearly.