Have a Jesus Day!

June 20, 2007 at 3:20 pm 26 comments

A light-hearted article for a change.

I have recently learned to find great humor in Bumper Sticker Christianity. You know what I mean. Those short and crisp blurbs of pseudo-doctrinal statements that you see planted on the back cars, or on the marquee of your local church, which express Christianity in simple and catchy soundbytes. I confess that I used to own a pin that said “No Jesus No Peace, Know Jesus Know Peace”. I proudly wore it on my hat for years as an expression of my faith.

Have A Jesus Day!About two months ago, some interesting billboards began covering the broadsides of the metro buses in my adopted hometown of El Paso. I thought I had heard it all after “What Would Jesus Do?”, but this was a new one. A lady standing in a daisy field, with arms upraised proclaims, “Have a Jesus Day!” Simple and harmless enough, I guess.

But I have to wonder if any of El Paso’s bus riders stop and think what it means to “Have a Jesus Day?” I admit that I have no idea what it is supposed to mean. What does a Jesus Day entail? Does it mean to preach the Gospel today? How about heal a few lepers today? If I did that, would that make today a Jesus Day? Maybe go to the public swimming pool today and astound some kids by walking on the water? How about going to the cemetery and raising a few corpses today?

Er… uh… how about we just stand in a field of daisies, lift our arms and smile just like Jesus did? Yeah, that sounds better. I feel all sweet and gooey inside, like an underbaked brownie. Dontcha just love Jesus?

Yeah, that is what I thought. Like most Christian cliches, “Have a Jesus Day” is cute and catchy, and means absolutely nothing.

OK, so I went to the website listed on the bottom of the billboard. How could I resist? It looks like the new ministry about to take the town by storm called the J.C is Lord Ministries Inc and World Invasion Media Outreach! I love the implication that this ministry is a worldwide invasion, originating right here in the hub of cosmopolitan sophistication, El Paso, Texas.

J.C is Lord Ministries offers the usual features of a Christian ministry, a prison outreach program, a crisis prayer telephone hotline, and similar evangelistic programs. But three things really caught my eye that make J.C is Lord Ministries stand out from the pack.

1) Inspirational J.C is Lord fashion accessories! A designer clothing line with the unique J.C. IS LORD logo, which includes inspirational messages. They have also begun a complete trademarked line of products, ranging from mugs, key chains, bracelets, pendants, t-shirts, notepads, lapel pens, ring tones and more, all centered around the ministry’s central theme of “Have a Jesus Day”. I don’t see anything for sale yet, but wow, I would love to hear that inspirational ringtone.

2) The Emergency Prayer Express Drive-Thru! No, I am not kidding here. In their own words, “Our mission is to establish a multifaceted prayer world center which will include a prayer drive thru, a freedom and deliverance prayer chamber, a God and you prayer room, and an advice and counseling department. There will also be a FellaComShop, an area where you can sit, chat, pray, read, have refreshments, find a unique spiritual gift and feel the power of the Holy Spirit…This concept, although used commonly with fast food and convenience stores, has never been used to bring forth the power and glory of God.”

Emergency Prayer

OK, the jokes that could be made here are just too easy. I mean, come on!! A prayer express drive-thru, with a roadsign that looks like Sonic Burger?? Do your express prayer partners coast out in roller skates and latch a confessional screen to your driver-side window? If we used to talk to a giant fiberglass clown when ordering Jack In the Box burgers, what will this place have? Maybe RickWarren in the Box asking if you want to supersize that prayer?

Boy, I can’t wait until this thing gets built. If it ever does, my wife and I will make a date of it and pay them a visit. You will get an exclusive report right here!

3) The Miraculous Wealth Transfer Covenant Encounters! Oh yeah, admit it, you knew this was coming. In their own words, “We have supernaturally tapped into God’s law of prosperity! … I myself am already walking in it. You might as well join in. What do you have to lose to join us? You have NOTHING to lose but poverty, anxiety, and apprehension”.So J.C is Lord Ministries has taken a few classes at the Oral Roberts graduate school of seed faith fundraising. This … thing came off the website, and I will just let it speak for itself:

Wealth

That’s right lucky Christian, your very own angelic Rochester can serve you a God-borne divine bible, served on a gold platter. Ain’t seed faith and God’s Law of Prosperity just grand?

So there you are – the latest and greatest trends in Bumper Sticker Christianity. Yeah, I know most Christians are not into this stuff. I certainly wasn’t! But this oddity looks like it is based in my own hometown, and I feel like making light of it, so don’t take this article too seriously!

- HeIsSailing

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Christian Fun Facts: Heroes of the Faith Spiritual Abuse

26 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Justin  |  June 20, 2007 at 3:32 pm

    Yikes! Have a Jesus Day? First thing I thought of was getting lashed and nailed to a cross! Not the kind of day I want to have!! (haha)

  • 2. Heather  |  June 20, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    I think this entire post can be summed up as “Jesus: One size fits all.”

    My problem with that is that it doesn’t match what I see in the Bible. The contrasts between the Synoptic Gospels to Paul (and then depending on what perspective one has of Paul) to the Gospel of John to the Epistle of James — it is a complex story, and yet so often Christianity seems to get reduced to … well, one shirt that fits all, regardless of size or taste or any of that.

    True spirituality doesn’t work that way, and doesn’t work the same way for each person.

  • 3. HeIsSailing  |  June 20, 2007 at 4:39 pm

    Heather, you are right about that. As a matter of fact, this article was originally more in that vein until I decided to make it a little more light hearted. I have to respect the brilliance of past theologians who wrestled with the problems of Scripture, and formulated doctrines to try and make sense of it. I may or may not agree with them, and some of them were rotten human beings, (ie Calvin) but I at least respect the intelligence, effort and ingenuity put into their theologies.

    I cannot respect things like drive-up prayer windows. It reduces Christianity into something like McDonalds, where prayers, like burgers, are fast, bland and cheap – or as you say, one size fits all. It is the worst form of intellectual laziness, where people want to have Jesus, but not have to think about it, or anything else.

    I suppose this legimate criticism that can come with validity from a Christian AND as ex-Christian.

  • 4. Intergalactic Hussy  |  June 20, 2007 at 4:51 pm

    No, that doesn’t seem like it’d be a good day at all!

  • 5. tribalchurch  |  June 20, 2007 at 4:55 pm

    I’m blinded by the visual image of the white God almost touching the white human, with the African American servant in the middle of it.

    I haven’t seen something that rascist in a long time.

    I think I’m going to be sick….

  • 6. cragar  |  June 20, 2007 at 5:08 pm

    HIS–first and foremost I live in El Paso as well-not from here a transplant. Small world this internet thing.

    I hadn’t seen these buses yet. I will have to keep an eye out. I hope they get enough money to build the drive thru! That would be great. I love the “Serving up God’s power to Give and Receive Wealth” slogan.

    I looked up his address hoping I could see where the church is, but looking at the map it appears to be a home address, I may drive by just to confirm.

  • [...] through my tag surfer this afternoon I found myself reading a post over at Agnostic Atheism. Now, while I do not find myself reading blogs devoted to atheism all that much, I could not help [...]

  • 8. Karen  |  June 20, 2007 at 6:58 pm

    Oh my goodness … that’s hilarious. I am ROTFLMAO right now. :-)

  • 9. Heather  |  June 20, 2007 at 8:42 pm

    ** have to respect the brilliance of past theologians who wrestled with the problems of Scripture** As do I, because at least there’s an attempt to show that Jesus wasn’t offering an easy way out. Following Jesus required a great deal of self-sacrifice. Christianity presented this way is, as you said, someone wanting a trade: someone says the right words, and earns eternal bliss.

    ** cannot respect things like drive-up prayer windows. It reduces Christianity into something like McDonalds, where prayers, like burgers, are fast, bland and cheap** I think it should have a “Two-for-one” deal. Think of how many souls that saves. :)

  • 10. Vaughan  |  June 20, 2007 at 10:04 pm

    Great post. Kitch Christian crap really gets to me.

  • 11. Spiritual Abuse « Agnostic Atheism  |  June 21, 2007 at 12:50 am

    [...] 21st, 2007 Yesterday, HeIsSailing posted a light hearted post. Today’s post is not so light. In fact, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m [...]

  • 12. agnosticatheist  |  June 21, 2007 at 1:26 am

    RE: WEALTH TRANSFER

    I’m not sure if you all heard this message before but it’s a favorite for preachers like Creflo Dollar.

    The scriptures referenced on the image HIS posted are Proverbs 13:22 which states:

    A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children,
    but a sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous.

    and Ecclesiastes 2:24-26:

    24 A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, 25 for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? 26 To the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

    They literally preach that God will give the wealth of sinners to Christians…. GIVE as in you DO NOT have to WORK for it, etc. God will take the hard earn funds of sinners and simple GIVE it to the Christian.

    Creflo Dollar once went into a rant encouraging his congregation to go pick out a sinner’s house they want and CLAIM it as theirs per God’s promise….

    …. and people believe this crap!

    aA

  • 13. agnosticatheist  |  June 21, 2007 at 1:31 am

    Creflo explains: “The Bible says that wealth is stored up for the righteous (Proverbs 13:22, New American Standard). However, it will remain stored up until you claim it. Therefore, claim it NOW! You possess the blessing to seize and command wealth and riches to come to you (Deuteronomy 8:18). Exercise that power by speaking faith-filled words daily and taking practical steps to eradicate debt. Like God, you can speak spiritual blessings into existence (Romans 4:17). Remember, doubt keeps silent, but faith speaks!” (Finances Your Inheritance of Wealth and Riches- World Changers website)

    From: http://www.letusreason.org/Wf45.htm

  • 14. tribalchurch  |  June 21, 2007 at 4:35 am

    Yep. That does it. I’m sick.

  • 15. HeIsSailing  |  June 21, 2007 at 6:54 am

    cragar,
    Wow, small world indeed! Which address are you looking at? I found this one:

    1901 Pueblo Nuevo Cir
    El Paso, TX 79936

    I might swing by there this weekend. It must be my perverted sense of humor, but I really want that drive-up prayer express center to be built. I want God to be a wealth transfer machine too!

    **********************************************
    tribal church sez:
    “I haven’t seen something that rascist in a long time. ”

    Hi tribal church. I don’t know if that is really racist – I looked all over the website, and most of the people on it, from the pastor on down are black. But I know what you mean – I could not help but think of subservient Rochester either.

  • 16. cragar  |  June 21, 2007 at 10:08 am

    Wow, small world indeed! Which address are you looking at? I found this one:

    1901 Pueblo Nuevo Cir
    El Paso, TX 79936

    Yeah, that’s the one, it looks like it’s close to the Blue Sage that is now an EP Fitness. I live on the east side so I may detour home to see it.

    I have a feeling it’s a house since they meet up on Surety Dr on Saturdays, which is behind where the Embassy Suites is on Gateway E.

  • 17. tribalchurch  |  June 21, 2007 at 3:45 pm

    HeIsSailing,

    Thanks for clarifying…although, now I’m even more confused about the image….

  • 18. notabaribe  |  June 22, 2007 at 12:08 am

    Hilarious! Thanks HIS.

  • 19. Luther  |  June 22, 2007 at 4:53 pm

    Any minister of God that preaches about getting more wealthy, having a better home, a nicer looking wife, etc., is PREACHING FALSE DOCTRINE. It is said in the Bible that many false teachers will come in HIs name. I would run far away from ministers that do any of the above. That’s why it is nice to be Lutheran – the only thing that matters is Jesus Christ and the Bible – that’s it, that’s all.

  • 20. Jai  |  June 27, 2007 at 4:53 pm

    You know, after reading a few posts for the last couple of months, I’m reminded why I enjoy certain flavors of (rather cynical) Christian music. These songs poke (or sometimes hit) at the rather innane things that Christians do in the name of Christ. This post especially reminds me of Smash hit by All Star United: “…This Jesus thing, its a smash hit, its packaged right… Its gone worldwide…”. Others include: Old west, Beautiful America and My evil plan to save the world by five iron frenzy, Lost the plot by the newsboys; Jesus drove a cadillac by Poison the well, and Smug, I want to be a clone, and Jesus is for Losers by Steve Taylor.

  • 21. James  |  June 30, 2007 at 11:26 am

    To all those who mock, or who simply don’t believe in Jesus, My prayer is is that before you leave this earth,that you realize you do need him. I am not pointing a finger of accusation, nor do I have a bash the unbelievers club in my possession, but I know that the Jesus I serve loves each and everyone of us.And he will never push you away regardless of who you are, and it doen’t matter what you have done up to this point in your life. He is a forgiving God,no matter what your issues are!…But of the utmost importance however, and THE single biggest decision you will ever face in your lifetime is the decision to either accept Christ or not. thats where the rubber meets the road! What you do with this message after you have read it will determine good or bad, your eternal fate.. For we all will be held accountable in the day of judgement.

    If you have read this and you have said enough is enough, and want to inherit , and witness true love, and eternal life when this life is over, simply say this simple prayer. Dear Lord Jesus, I realize that I am a sinner and need you in my life, I need you,Jesus. I am asking that you come into my life, be my Lord, & be my Saviour,I renounce the devil, he has no more power over me, and I turn away from the life I once knew apart from you, and ask that you forgive me of all my sins, and shortcomings. I now confess that you are indeed LORD, and I know accept you as my Saviour! So Jesus,at this moment I’am asking you to come into my life , live inside of me, and I will serve you for the rest of my life, AMEN!!! If you have read and prayed this very simple prayer,you are now Saved! And if you have not prayed this prayer faithfully, and have not accepted Jesus as your Lord, remember this, he Loves you more than you can ever imagine. Gods desire is for NO Man to perish,Gods desire is for No man to be eternally lost after this life is said and done, but unfortunately, we write our own death sentence when we fail to receive Jesus Christ into our own personal lives. The big question now is, what will YOU do with what you have just read?…..with much love and respect, James

  • 22. Micky  |  August 6, 2007 at 1:34 am

    About 3 years ago I dropped into a black hole – four months of absolute terror. I wanted to end my life, but somehow [Holy Spirit], I reached out to a friend who took me to hospital. I had three visits [hospital] in four months – I actually thought I was in hell. I imagine I was going through some sort of metamorphosis [mental, physical & spiritual]. I had been seeing a therapist [1994] on a regular basis, up until this point in time. I actually thought I would be locked away – but the hospital staff was very supportive [I had no control over my process]. I was released from hospital 16th September 2004, but my fear, pain & shame had only subsided a little. I remember this particular morning waking up [home] & my process would start up again [fear, pain, & shame]. No one could help me, not even my therapist [I was terrified]. I asked Jesus Christ to have mercy on me & forgive me my sins. Slowly, all my fear has dissipated & I believe Jesus delivered me from my “psychological prison.” I am a practicing Catholic & the Holy Spirit is my friend & strength; every day since then has been a joy & blessing. I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities. John 3: 8, John 15: 26, are verses I can relate to, organically. He’s a real person who is with me all the time. I have so much joy & peace in my life, today, after a childhood spent in orphanages . God LOVES me so much. Fear, pain, & shame, are no longer my constant companions. I just wanted to share my experience with you [Luke 8: 16 – 17].
    PEACE BE WITH YOU
    MICKY

  • 23. Spiritual Abuse « de-conversion  |  December 11, 2007 at 12:34 am

    [...] 21, 2007 Yesterday, HeIsSailing posted a light hearted post. Today’s post is not so light. In fact, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m [...]

  • 24. fiona  |  August 31, 2008 at 6:53 pm

    just find out for yourselves. you should not just laugh at the obvious stupidities of some christians, but rather you should be looking to Jesus and asking Him for guidance and help. I am very well educated and NEVER thought id end up being “one of those christians” but its truth,depth and reality struck me. I called out to Jesus when I was desperate and was healed of arthritis which no medicine could help me with. Maybe some christians arent the brightest- but really, so what? Have you really tried to find out the truth ? and how many good, intellegent christians do you know? Because there are lots out there.. . . Jesus is real. why not check out Ian McCormacks webiste glimpseofeternity.com, about a guy who was an ATHEIST who RAPIDLY CHANGED HIS MIND!! Really, go and have a look, its interesting. My church is solihul,birmingham, (uk) has hundreds of people being healed of diseases which Cant be healed medically- and hence now these peoples doctors are becomming believers!! Please for your own sakes, please, do check these things out for yourselves.

  • 25. fiona  |  August 31, 2008 at 6:58 pm

    The church is called Christian Renewal centre, lode lane, solihul and the healing service is every tues evening at 7.30pm. over 700 people go and its all by word of mouth becasuse so many people are being healed

  • 26. Obi  |  August 31, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    Fiona —

    I attend the I.B. Programme at one of my local high schools, and being an international programme, it attracts a wide variety of people from all races, nations, and religions. I personally know and am close friends with Hindus, Muslims, Buddhists and Jains who have all detailed to me stories about how they and their families and acquaintances have experienced miracles that they believe were wrought by the power of their god(s), just as you seem to. I’ve also read stories through the internet (just as you have) of atheists converting to Islam, Buddhism (well, some variants of it are atheistic already), and even Hinduism. What makes these miracles or conversions any different than those that you use to support your faith in Christianity?

    You don’t necessarily have to answer, just food for thought.

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Attention Christian Readers

Just in case you were wondering who we are and why we de-converted.

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Whether or not you believe in God, you should live your life with love, kindness, compassion, mercy and tolerance while trying to make the world a better place. If there is no God, you have lost nothing and will have made a positive impact on those around you. If there is a benevolent God reviewing your life, you will be judged on your actions and not just on your ability to blindly believe in creeds- when there is a significant lack of evidence on how to define God or if he/she even exists.

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