Have a Jesus Day!
A light-hearted article for a change.
I have recently learned to find great humor in Bumper Sticker Christianity. You know what I mean. Those short and crisp blurbs of pseudo-doctrinal statements that you see planted on the back cars, or on the marquee of your local church, which express Christianity in simple and catchy soundbytes. I confess that I used to own a pin that said “No Jesus No Peace, Know Jesus Know Peace”. I proudly wore it on my hat for years as an expression of my faith.
About two months ago, some interesting billboards began covering the broadsides of the metro buses in my adopted hometown of El Paso. I thought I had heard it all after “What Would Jesus Do?”, but this was a new one. A lady standing in a daisy field, with arms upraised proclaims, “Have a Jesus Day!” Simple and harmless enough, I guess.
But I have to wonder if any of El Paso’s bus riders stop and think what it means to “Have a Jesus Day?” I admit that I have no idea what it is supposed to mean. What does a Jesus Day entail? Does it mean to preach the Gospel today? How about heal a few lepers today? If I did that, would that make today a Jesus Day? Maybe go to the public swimming pool today and astound some kids by walking on the water? How about going to the cemetery and raising a few corpses today?
Er… uh… how about we just stand in a field of daisies, lift our arms and smile just like Jesus did? Yeah, that sounds better. I feel all sweet and gooey inside, like an underbaked brownie. Dontcha just love Jesus?
Yeah, that is what I thought. Like most Christian cliches, “Have a Jesus Day” is cute and catchy, and means absolutely nothing.
OK, so I went to the website listed on the bottom of the billboard. How could I resist? It looks like the new ministry about to take the town by storm called the J.C is Lord Ministries Inc and World Invasion Media Outreach! I love the implication that this ministry is a worldwide invasion, originating right here in the hub of cosmopolitan sophistication, El Paso, Texas.
J.C is Lord Ministries offers the usual features of a Christian ministry, a prison outreach program, a crisis prayer telephone hotline, and similar evangelistic programs. But three things really caught my eye that make J.C is Lord Ministries stand out from the pack.
1) Inspirational J.C is Lord fashion accessories! A designer clothing line with the unique J.C. IS LORD logo, which includes inspirational messages. They have also begun a complete trademarked line of products, ranging from mugs, key chains, bracelets, pendants, t-shirts, notepads, lapel pens, ring tones and more, all centered around the ministry’s central theme of “Have a Jesus Day”. I don’t see anything for sale yet, but wow, I would love to hear that inspirational ringtone.
2) The Emergency Prayer Express Drive-Thru! No, I am not kidding here. In their own words, “Our mission is to establish a multifaceted prayer world center which will include a prayer drive thru, a freedom and deliverance prayer chamber, a God and you prayer room, and an advice and counseling department. There will also be a FellaComShop, an area where you can sit, chat, pray, read, have refreshments, find a unique spiritual gift and feel the power of the Holy Spirit…This concept, although used commonly with fast food and convenience stores, has never been used to bring forth the power and glory of God.”
OK, the jokes that could be made here are just too easy. I mean, come on!! A prayer express drive-thru, with a roadsign that looks like Sonic Burger?? Do your express prayer partners coast out in roller skates and latch a confessional screen to your driver-side window? If we used to talk to a giant fiberglass clown when ordering Jack In the Box burgers, what will this place have? Maybe RickWarren in the Box asking if you want to supersize that prayer?
Boy, I can’t wait until this thing gets built. If it ever does, my wife and I will make a date of it and pay them a visit. You will get an exclusive report right here!
3) The Miraculous Wealth Transfer Covenant Encounters! Oh yeah, admit it, you knew this was coming. In their own words, “We have supernaturally tapped into God’s law of prosperity! … I myself am already walking in it. You might as well join in. What do you have to lose to join us? You have NOTHING to lose but poverty, anxiety, and apprehension”.So J.C is Lord Ministries has taken a few classes at the Oral Roberts graduate school of seed faith fundraising. This … thing came off the website, and I will just let it speak for itself:
That’s right lucky Christian, your very own angelic Rochester can serve you a God-borne divine bible, served on a gold platter. Ain’t seed faith and God’s Law of Prosperity just grand?
So there you are – the latest and greatest trends in Bumper Sticker Christianity. Yeah, I know most Christians are not into this stuff. I certainly wasn’t! But this oddity looks like it is based in my own hometown, and I feel like making light of it, so don’t take this article too seriously!