I was interested to know if any of you were hurt by anyone in the Christian church.

Samantha, thanks for asking. I want to second Karen’s appreciation, not just for your courtesy in asking, but for your genuine curiosity. I think all us Christian apostates have been told by countless Christians why we left the faith. I honestly think that you are the first Christian that I have seen to ask this simple question.

No Samantha, no Christian ever hurt or harmed me into leaving Christianity. Some of my old Christian freinds are still my friends, although not all. The bottom line is that I was a happy and content Christian for most of my whole life (I left Christianity when I was 43 years old). I am now a happy and perfectly content apostate. That is really the truth. The main reason that I left Christianity was that I could no longer keep any intellectual integrity with all that I learned and observed about the world around me, and continue to have literal belief in religious mythology. It is really no more profound than that. The transition out of Christianity was certainly not easy, and it had its painful moments, but I am not angry or bitter towards anyone nor do I have a reason to be. Heck, I still attend mass with my wife, and I am perfectly fine with it!! But literal belief in God is, for me at least, untenable.

It differs from atheist to atheist and has actually become a big topic in atheist circles. I heard Salman Rushdie speak about the problem not long ago, in fact. Some atheists seem perfectly comfortable with the idea of “spirituality,” while others feel that the word itself is too closely tied to supernatural belief.

I think it’s a confusing term, for both parties, frankly. But I think there are other words and other ways we can talk about an atheist’s inner life, inspiration and even transcendent moments without invoking the supernatural.

What I like about you is that you asked the question, rather than making the assumption. Honestly, you are the first Christian I’ve seen in five years who have asked us what happened, rather than presumptuously TOLD us what happened to us.

That kind of respect is terrific and I admire you. Now, if only you could influence some of your fellow Christians to be as respectful and thoughtful as you are!

For my part no one hurt me. Of course there were individuals who disappointed, but no hurt.

I left when it finally hit me between the eyes that there was no response of any kind coming from the direction of the supposed deity.

Can an atheist be a spiritual person, and if so, in what sense? Is it meaningful to talk of atheist spirituality, or should the term be reserved for religious believers?

This is how I explained it in an article I wrote in my own blog:

“I can see a point to living. I now know what I am here for. As well as passing on my genes to my children the world is being built on the actions that I and all the other people living today are taking every day. Human progress is actually an accumulation of what everyone from every previous generation has done. We all build on what has gone before, so I really believe that I am actually worth something rather than being a soul who may or may not end up in a lake of fire.”

Leo – re: your post #38 – that’s exactly how I feel too. When you really think about it… what will make you happy in the LONG run.. in the BIG picture, (not the fleeting gratifying moment).. it’s usually the same kinds of moral code that Christian’s do because they say the “bible tells them to”. Some people will say, “you only have ONE life to live – so LIVE it up and enjoy it”… but, when you really think about what will make you enjoy this ONE life to the fullest, it’s usually doing the “right” things…

And, really… even Christians who say the “right things: because it’s in the Bible, or God’s will.. or whatever…. Really, even they do it in their own best interest. They are doing what they think will make THEM happiest here in earth, AND in their next life-time…

~smj

That’s it exactly, Samantha. I don’t think anybody here claims to know for absolutely certain that there is no god.

But most of us here will say we don’t see evidence for a god, and so we don’t see a reason for worshiping something that may not exist. After all, I don’t worship the greek gods or the hindu gods, although I can’t say for sure that they don’t exist. I just add the Christian god to that group, making my worldview more consistent.

My deconversion took about five or six years’ total, although the crucial part was closer to 18 months or so. Although it started with an emotional upheaval in my life, which caused me to revisit long-held assumptions, most of the time was spent in research, reading and discussion of topics that I had long since closed off: God said it, I believed it, that settled it! Going back and changing my mind on that was a difficult, unsettling and painful process – not anything I did (or anyone here) did lightly or frivolously.

I have never had a true, chemical addiction – thankfully – so I can’t even imagine how difficult that must be to break, but the terrific news is that you HAVE broken your addictions, your brain chemistry is on its way to healing, and you know how to keep it healing by doing what you’re already doing: Exercise, healthy lifestyle, self-discipline.

You, within yourself, have achieved this incredible milestone, not some magical prayers or holy spirits or whimsical deity – YOU. Give yourself credit not only for doing what you have done, but also for knowing that you have it in you to keep on doing what you’re doing right now. Isn’t it less scary to realize that you already have the key to success and the formula to carry it out, rather than keeping your fingers crossed and your prayers going out hoping that some god is listening and will pay attention to you this time? You don’t need that – you’ve got YOU and you can never lose that!

I don’t know how old you are, but in a lot of people the self-destructive tendency goes along with immaturity and can be overcome as we get older and our personalities become more stable. So if you’ve been self-destructive in the past and you were youngish at the time (say 30 or under), you may well be outgrowing that tendency by now.

We are pulling for you, remember that, and the fear will go away little by little, until someday you’ll shake your head and chuckle about how scared you were.