Some People Should Never Be Forgiven
When I was a fundie Christian the hardest thing that was required of me was to forgive people for being perverts and assholes. A Christian is told repeatedly that if we don’t forgive others, God won’t forgive us. We are also taught that we had to forgive people EVEN when these people were not repentant or did not ask for your forgiveness. If we didn’t, we could not expect forgiveness form the Almighty. In other words, if my step-father beat, tortured, and raped me repeatedly from the ages of 9 through 14, I had the duty to forgive him even though he was an unrepentant asshole even on his deathbed.
For some reason, that never sat well with me. I was furious, but taught myself to ignore the fury to be a good Christian. Nowadays there are numerous stories of child abusers, killers, rapists, and evil Christians of the Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist variety and evil Muslims such as the 9/11 hijackers and those who kill their wives, daughters, and sisters for their own “honor.” We are told again and again that we are to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. We are supposed to realize that these people are also God’s creatures and to think evilly of them and wish them harm is not a good thing to do. Yet, when the likes of Fred Phelps and his band of psychotic cult followers picketed a fallen soldier’s funeral in my small Midwestern town, I was furious. Forgive them? Are you crazy? I couldn’t do it. I cheered when the Iron Sleds, a Harley-riding motorcycle group who supports military veterans, decided to step in and guard the family from whackos like Phelps at the funeral. I secretly hoped there would be an “incident” and that Phelps would get his face smashed in, that violence would ensue.
It was at that moment that I realized that no matter how hard I tried, I could not live up to that injunction to forgive everyone. I tried for years and years to forgive and thought I had it licked. But, God will just have to not forgive me as well and by the bible’s own statements, I will die unforgiven. I will die then sort of hoping there is a hell where perverted step-fathers go and according to the bible, I will be right there with him once again. I relish that thought. I relish the revenge I would be free to finally engage in. And for that, I will rot in the Christian’s hell for eternity. You know what? I don’t care. Those people don’t deserve my forgiveness. And who cares if I forgive them anyway? The lack of justice in this world is the surest indication that God or the gods do not exist. There is no better proof in my opinion.