And WHAT will you use for the image at the top of the article? Hmmmmm??

Quester, we all have to find our own way. As long as you’re both happy, then all is well in my book.

Everyone else, great discussion. I think I’ll work on an article about masturbation next. Oh boy!

Just wanted to say that I appreciate your “get it out in the open” way of dealing with an issue. It may look brusque, but as I see it, it’s just that you really do want to bring issues into the full light of day and really deal with them.

A long way of getting around to just saying ‘thanks’.

DD, I’d be more insulted if I thought you knew anything about me, my wife, or my relationship that would put you in a position where you could make an informed judgement. As it is, I’m more amused than anything else.

Jealousy and possessiveness are not signs of a healthy relationship.

No, they aren’t, but as far as I can see they are signs of being human, and only after acknowledging personal feelings of jealousy and possessiveness can such emotions be compensated for and can conscious decisions be made to not act on these emotions. There is little we can do to actually control what emotions we feel, after all.

In a similar manner, if I were to deny I have a very poor sense of direction, I would be lost all the time. Since I acknowledge and admit this lack on my part, I have been able to train myself in map and compass use, and have bought a GPS. You can call that immature, unhealthy or in denial, and I will take your claims for what I think they are worth.

I’m no expert by any means and what I express here are my opinions and nothing more.

As you say. The same is true for me.

I’m no expert by any means and what I express here are my opinions and nothing more. YMMV.

I don’t think your view is realistic, but if you can operate that way, great for you.

would you cheat on your partner with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend?

I only date may four or five gals besides my wife. No sex with any of them. There were a few female friends I found attractive. I still have female friends who are attractive. Would I have sex with any of them? …. I cannot give an absolute ‘yes’ or ‘no’. While I reckon that I generally try to be a good boy, given the right gal, the right time, the right mind frame or emotional state, I don’t doubt that I’d indulge temptation.

It sounds like you are projecting your own desires onto the rest of us

I know that some people seem to be quite immune to sexual temptation. Others are not immune. I seem to be in the latter category. I’m sure others hereabouts are too.

I don’t mean to imply that you will not feel jealous, but that you should trust your spouse.

Fair enough and I agree.

Jealousy and possessiveness are not signs of a healthy relationship.

*laughs* Why, thank-you for your insightful analysis, DD! I think you are foolishly and hypocritically jumping to conclusions from insufficient data, but appreciate your kindly expressed hope for me and mine.

Do you honestly think that having the person you or your spouse used to sleep with around presents no temptation? That it is a really comfortable situation? That it would be just “no problemo”?

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

I would not loose one ounce of sleep even if I found out that my husband was stranded on a deserted island with his ex-lover. He left her and stopped having sex with her and chose to be with me. Why would I have any fear that he secretly still wants to have sex with her? I have no desire to get back together with any of my previous crushes either. Those relationships are less of a temptation to me than a stranger would be.

I have to ask the obvious question — would you cheat on your partner with an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend? It sounds like you are projecting your own desires onto the rest of us.