For me it was trying to reconcile a loving, just God, with what I read in the Bible. I couldn’t when I saw how many other billions weren’t Christians and would be damned. It didn’t make sense. That just started the questioning process.

2. Do de-cons often continue to attend a church? If so, why?

I go every once in a great while. Part of it is to observe, part of it is because it reminds me of my childhood. Also I like to sing.

3. Are de-cons open to returning to the faith or is that impossible?

The Christian faith? No. Read to much Bible. If it was true and I knew it, I’d have to join the opposition on principle. Other types of faith I could see myself being a part of. I enjoy the beauty of a lot of the neopagan movement, though I consider it just as false as any monotheistic belief.

4. What is it that turns you off about Christianity the most? The Bible? Christians themselves? Jesus?

Its willingness to enslave oneself. The Bible is a mass of contradictions and horrendous acts. Christians themselves tend to only turn me off when they close their eyes completely to the world. Jesus the character I have no issue with.

5. What made you the most miserable as a Christian?

Not seeing anything real, just wishing it was real.

6. What do you really currently think about Christians?

Mistaken, misguided and tragic.

Thanks for sharing your story here…very moving. I am also from the south and know the uncomfortable feeling you can get around Christians you do not know. It is all I can to sometimes to remain civil with all the people who want to save my (non-existent) soul. I am so much happier and at peace with myself now – I can live, love my family and immerse myself in the beauty and privilege of life here free from constant guilt that religion fosters. Am I less moral than before? No – I am far more tolerant and forgiving than before. Am I perfect? Nope – long way from that too. But I am happy and fulfilled – more than ever before.

I don’t continue to attend church.

It is impossible for me to return to mainstream Christianity. There would be a possibility for some of the more esoteric paths. Of course those are not considered Christian by most, so not sure it would still be possible. But then again, I am not technically an Atheist either since I do believe in a creative force, that we are all a part of.

I have nothing against Jesus, and find that he was a great teacher of peace, brotherly love, and forgiveness. In fact I have alot of friends who are “Followers of Christ’s Teachings” who do not claim to be Christians and try to disassociate themselves with being called such, that I also have no problem with. As far as Christianity itself, I have no major beef with. Alot of little things, such as the subjugation of certain peoples or gender. For the Bible, I also don’t like the mistranslation of most of the KJV especially the old testament. I still say that going to a book store and getting direct translation from the Talmud and the Torah into English would be a good investment, since it is interesting the mistakes both unintentional and intentional are, between the two texts. Most of the things that were added were used to control thoughts, gain power for the few, and of course to persecute those deemed heretics. My last problem is the pick and choose method of what went into the bible. If you get a chance to read up on the debate to add the Revelations type story as told by the apostle Peter, to not be added to the bible, because at the end we find out everyone is saved, since all that is needed is for one good man to ask for the forgiveness of all, it is an interesting read. So the only reason for man to decide what he wants in the bible and what he doesn’t is for personal gain of some sort.

Christians themselves are a mixed bag for me. Some of my best friends are Christian, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for them, and the way they practice Jesus’ teachings. The others, just make me walk away from them, and not want to be associated with any Evangelical or Fundamentalist Christians. I don’t like the warmongering attitude, the belief in violence as a means to solve problems, and that if you are not a Christian, you have a right to your beliefs if they don’t interfere with Christian values, that some of the more Evangelical Christians have. Then there is Fred Phelps which I wish would just stay at home, and not grace us with his protests ever again, but this is just my feelings, even Fred Phelps has the right to believe that we are all Gay if we don’t believe like he does.

I was miserable because I was always wrong, wrong in my interpretations of the bible, wrong in my interpretations of the Christian God. I was a sinner because I believed that book banning was wrong and that people had the freedom to read, watch, and belong to another church or religion. I was also miserable because if I didn’t believe just like everybody else in my church, then I was told I was going to be cast in fire, and burn for all eternity, because I was wicked. That is why I could not only not belong to another religion, but I couldn’t even change my brand of Christianity, because the other Christians had it wrong too. In the end I just decided that if there was a hell, (which Jews do not believe in eternal damnation, and since Jesus held to his Jewish beliefs until the end of his life, he probably also didn’t believe in eternal damnation as well.) that if I was going to get sent to hell anyway, then I was going to do it on my own terms, and if there is no hell…(which seems more likely to me) well then, guess I won’t be going to it after all.

I guess what I think about Christians most often is I am overly cautious until I get to know one individually. I do like most Christians I meet. As a whole, I have pretty much a live and let live attitude, and as long as they don’t bother me, why should I bother them. When they come knocking on my door I wish they would just go away, because I am finally happy, just being.

That’s true, but he is speaking to his fellow Jews at the time, quoting scripture they hold as authoritative. Sorry; I’d tried to make it clear in #138 that I was speaking of citing scripture to non-believers, but I left that idea out entirely in #142. I’m trying (poorly, it seems) to say that none of the apostles or prophets in the Bible used scripture as an authority when speaking to people who did not already share their faith. At least, as far as I remember, this is true. I”m willing to be shown an example proving me wrong.