I never wanted to be an Atheist
Since de-converting from Christianity, many who claim to follow Christ have accused me of wanting to lead a life of sin or wanting to hide from God, or just plain turning my back on God. I had one Christian named Dan, after I said the sentence that is the title of this post, tell me “Then you shouldn’t be, shame on you. It’s called faith for a reason. Sure God could reveal himself to us quite easily but he wants us to have faith in Him and Trust Him not just believe and not to be tempted.”
It’s odd to me that I do not attack their character and yet they attack mine, that somehow does not seem very Christian to me. I have some wonderful Christian friends and family. I have also made new Christian friends who I have met through various web sites.
Recently, I asked Dan a simple question – “Do you think I’m telling the truth when I say I don’t believe God exists” his response: “In a word…No.” I had given Dan no reason to call me a liar.
In fact, I do not call Christians liars for believing in God, yet some of them are so sure of their belief that they would call unbelievers liars for saying they don’t believe in the Christian God. I guess I understand this because I felt the same way when I was a Christian, though I never accused anyone of lying. I felt they had fooled themselves, not that they were flat out lying.
I understand this anger against atheists. When I was a Christian, I was pissed off when atheists attacked Jesus too, but I was pissed off at individuals not all atheists. Even then I knew that not all atheists made their business attacking Christ.
I loved being a Christian, I didn’t have any negative experiences, I just began to look at other things in the world, and wondering how if so many others believed so sincerely then how could I think their sincerity was somehow less than mine? I began to really look for evidence of God in my life, I began to really listen to see if I was truly hearing God’s voice or if it was just my own. To this day I still pray from time to time: “God, if you are real, please let me know.”
I never wanted to be an atheist. I just had to be honest about no longer believing.
- Mike aka MonolithTMA (Guest Contributor).