The ties that bind: Factors that make de-conversion difficult
Recently poster mindbogglingly dazzled said that “there should be a post about the reasons that made/make it difficult for us to leave faith. A post about what hinders/hindered us in walking away.”
This seems a great idea, so as the self-appointed blog list-maker, I have started a list of such reasons/factors. Y’all please hop in with more and I’ll modify the list when I’ve collected a goodly number of new reasons.
1. Family/friend pressures to keep the faith
2. Fear of family/friend reactions to de-conversion
3. Worry about losing church friends
4. Not knowing how to live without the faith/belief
5. Fear of falling into gross immorality
6. Not knowing where to look for friends, fellowship, etc
7. Not knowing what beliefs/philosophies to use to guide life
8. Concerns about death/next life
9. Sense of abandonment
10. Loss of meaning/purpose
11. Employment worries (biggie for pastors, ministry workers, etc.)
12. What if I’m just bloomin’ wrong?
13. Not wanting to say that friends, family, teachers, etc. are all wrong.
14. Not wanting to admit that apologetics are weak, unconvincing, illogical; in short, ‘crap’.
15. Not wanting to drag family through the painful, scary process.
16. Not wanting to hurt family/friends by rejecting the faith (which is tantamount to rejecting them in the minds of many believers).
17. Worries about the effect of atheism/agnosticism on business (i.e., possible lack of trust by clients).
18. Memories of good times and such in the church/faith.
19. Memories of experiences of closeness to God and things interpreted as miracles.
20. Leaving a lifetime of being open to the idea of God/gods, and the supernatural as being part of the universe.
21. Admitting that one had been SO wrong for SO long.
22. The odd and scary need to start anew from an unfamiliar perspective in a suddenly unfamiliar world.
23. Embarrassment. I.e., meeting those to whom you were a Christian role model, or whose lives significantly impacted or shaped (Your own kids would fit here in a big way.), or non-christians you witnessed to or argued apologetics/faith with and to whom you raved about the beauty of the Christian life.
24. The sense of betrayal that you know others may feel from your leaving the faith.
26. What to do on Sundays?
27. Not wanting to be considered “evil”. (Fundy’s will look at atheists this way. Specially apostates.)
28. Not wanting to be excommunicated. (More a trouble for Catholics, Orthodox, Lutherans, Anglicans, and the like.)
29. WANTING there to be something more to life, the universe, and everything.
OK. That’s it for now. Y’all pile on with more and I’ll add them in time.
[[Man that grew fast. The list more than doubled in one day.]]
Convenient categories: Why Christians believe de-cons leave the faith
Inconvenient categories: The real reasons de-cons leave the faith