A caveman could figure it out (The Gog Monologues)
In talking with my wife once about my reasons for de-conversion, I set forth some very simple logic about why BibleGod could not be real. I basically said, “If the God of the Bible or Christianity is real, then there are certain, distinct traits about him that we can be sure of. Those traits have obvious and necessary outcomes. We simply need to look for those necessary outcomes. If we don’t find them, we are forced to conclude that the being we are discussing does not exist.”
Knowing the logic of this was unassailable, she derailed it all by saying, “That’s Enlightenment thinking. It’s all human reason as the ultimate. There are more things in the universe than what human reason can deduce.”
Of course the discussion was over then. Once someone takes logic and brains out of the discussion, there are no guidelines to go by. One can make up any specious claims and back it with tradition, “alternate thinking”, appeals to authority, or voodoo.
Of course I knew this was wrong “thinking”, but I needed a bit of time to think it through. Aside from the obvious problem of divorcing the only thinking organ we have in favor of …….. whatever, the big problem with the “That’s Enlightenment (or Humanist) thinking” approach is that it’s bogus. It’s not Enlightenment thinking. It’s just thinking.
Straightforward logic isn’t something humanity only came upon after the Middle Ages. It’s been around since we first starting hunting and using tools. It doesn’t take a post-Enlightenment, college-educated, westerner to think that way. A caveman could do it.
To illustrate, let’s permit a caveman to do just that.
Ladies and gentlemen; meet Gog.
He’s a caveman. He and his buddy Og have been going around and around about Og’s deity. Let’s listen in as Gog talks about it.
“Uhm. Og say there big person in sky who have lotsa power. Him say, everyday him pray to big person so big person make everything OK for Og.”
“Little while ago, we have big mammoth hunt.”
“Og pray before hunt. Pray big person make hunt go well.”
“We go hunt. No kill mammoth. Tribe go hungry. Some little ones, some old ones die.”
“Me ask Og, ‘Why big person no help with hunt?”
“Og say, ‘Dunno. Maybe tribe bad; do things big person no like.”
“Me say, ‘Big person make little ones die because tribe no please him? That bad. Me no do that. Someone do something bad, I club that person. No club baby. That BAD.”
“Uhg. Og say big person in sky can heal anything.”
“Little while ago, Og family get sick.”
“Og pray for Og’s family to get well when sick. Og’s family die.
“Og also pray for Og’s fingers to grow back (lizard bite them off). Fingers no grow back.”
“Me ask Og, ‘Why family die? Why fingers no grow back?”
“Og say, ‘Dunno. Maybe big person think me need suffer.”
“Me say, ‘You need dead family? You need lost fingers? Me thought you said, big person love you. Me your friend, care about you. Me save your family if can. Me give you new fingers if can. Big person no loving.”
“Uhg. Og say, big person is everywhere, know everything, can do anything.”
“Me ask Og, ‘OK. Have big person do something.”
“Og ask. Many times, Og ask. Big person do nothing.”
“Me ask, ‘Why big person do nothing?”
“Og say, ‘He do things his way. Maybe him do things we no can see, hear, smell, understand.”
“Me say, ‘You ask big person to do things. Him do nothing you can see. How you know he do anything? How you know he even real?”
“Og say, ‘Him just am.”
“Me say, ‘Me think Og have head problem. He no use head.”
“Me have simple caveman brain. Og’s big person never do anything. Never do what Og say big person supposed to do.”
”Uhg. Me think Og’s big person no real. Me think Og little crazy in head.”
Well folks. There you have it. Gog, the pre-Enlightenment caveman managing “Enlightenment thinking”. Just simple, old-fashioned, “cave thinking” really.
It’s easy to figure out there’s no God. Even a caveman can do it.