Comments on: The Wedding Saga: My Dilemma http://de-conversion.com/2009/10/14/the-wedding-saga-my-dilemma/ Resources for skeptical, de-converting, or former Christians...... Sat, 11 Feb 2012 22:35:49 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Chrissy http://de-conversion.com/2009/10/14/the-wedding-saga-my-dilemma/#comment-39150 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:24:41 +0000 http://de-conversion.com/?p=3182#comment-39150 Some of the articles I read did say that non-denominational churches are culprits of authoritarianism because they lack accountability to any specific doctrine. I also came from a “non-denominational” church, and as I was “on my way out” concluded that it is a denomination in itself. Took me long enough :)

The link I posted I figured would be helpful for the elder friend, seeing that he probably could use some Biblical confirmation that he was attacked by “wolves in sheep’s clothing.” Another blog I frequent, Stuff Christian Culture Likes, is hilarious, and the author has recently moved to beliefnet. She now has spiritual abuse sites listed in her blogroll, if you want to check them out. Some are more objective than battered sheep, and do not have a faith based agenda. They simply offer definitions, and occasionally refute them with scripture. I find the articles fascinating! Here is the link to her blog:

http://blog.beliefnet.com/stuffchristianculturelikes/2009/11/102-gossip-via-prayer-request-1.html

The abuse links are to the right. The rest of the SCCL archives will be uploaded in the near future, from what I understand. The blog as a whole, makes for a highly entertaining time!

]]> By: Joshua http://de-conversion.com/2009/10/14/the-wedding-saga-my-dilemma/#comment-39145 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:28:54 +0000 http://de-conversion.com/?p=3182#comment-39145 Yeah, my family has always leaned non-denominational.

I’d never really made the connection between authoritarianism and non-denominational churches. It makes sense. Leaders who want complete control do not want to be under control by someone else.

]]> By: peridot http://de-conversion.com/2009/10/14/the-wedding-saga-my-dilemma/#comment-39141 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:53:45 +0000 http://de-conversion.com/?p=3182#comment-39141 Chrissy, thanks for the link. I looked through the articles with interest, as I left an extremely authoritarian church bordering on cultism myself many years ago.

I wonder if Joshua’s family’s church is nondenominational? I ask, because it’s been my observation that its the nondenom groups that give charismatic, rogue pastors a bully pulpit. Leo seems to have reacted with shock at Joshua’s story, surprised at how cultlike this family’s church is, but I have seen this sort of thing twice, and both times in nondenoms.

Anyways, the site you recommended has many good articles on how to spot it and what to do about it, from a Christian perspective. I’m no longer a Christian, but I still was when I left my extraordinarily authoritarian former church, which was difficult at the time. The experience was a significant chapter in journey away from all faith in the end, because it sensitized me to many issues . . . how easily the Bible can be interpreted with evil motives, how sheep-like many believers are, how really ugly things can get among Christians.

]]> By: Chrissy http://de-conversion.com/2009/10/14/the-wedding-saga-my-dilemma/#comment-39133 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:12:06 +0000 http://de-conversion.com/?p=3182#comment-39133 Oh wait. I don’t see it though I left it in the URL. Here it is again just in case:

http://www.batteredsheep.com/articles.html

]]> By: Chrissy http://de-conversion.com/2009/10/14/the-wedding-saga-my-dilemma/#comment-39132 Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:08:48 +0000 http://de-conversion.com/?p=3182#comment-39132 Joshua,
Would you mind passing this website on to your elder friend? I’ve been reading a lot about spiritual abuse and authoritarian churches, and your scenario keeps coming to mind. You might enjoy this site as well, seeing that your family is still involved in that church. I too have family members stuck in strict religious environments, and this site has a lot of great resources depicting very specific attributes of spiritual abuse. The subtle manipulation, and the blatant abuse is all outlined. The elder situation is a concrete example, and your friend may find comfort examining it through this resource. Pass it along if you get a chance?
Thanks!
Chrissy

]]> By: Hawanja http://de-conversion.com/2009/10/14/the-wedding-saga-my-dilemma/#comment-39075 Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:30:01 +0000 http://de-conversion.com/?p=3182#comment-39075 Best advice I can give is move out of that town. Who needs these people? Let’em deal with thier own B.S.

]]> By: Chrissy http://de-conversion.com/2009/10/14/the-wedding-saga-my-dilemma/#comment-38423 Sat, 31 Oct 2009 21:48:02 +0000 http://de-conversion.com/?p=3182#comment-38423 Geez! This fascist regime is fucking with everyone! All the secrets, accusations, lies and denial! At least your brother’s not a virgin anymore. Maybe blowing a load into another human being will help him realize what he’s been missing :) No disrespect, of course. Just that sometimes regaining one’s humanity begins with the most practical of human interactions. Everybody has a chance to wake up. Sadly, many people prefer their slumber. An honest orgasm may yet do the trick :)

Thanks for being so honest with your story. It is always refreshing to witness the voice of reason in insanity. I am truly grateful for your inability to deny reality, and your willingness to share. So glad to know you’re out there, keepin’ it real; being human :)

]]> By: LeoPardus http://de-conversion.com/2009/10/14/the-wedding-saga-my-dilemma/#comment-38304 Thu, 29 Oct 2009 15:35:15 +0000 http://de-conversion.com/?p=3182#comment-38304 Wow! Even the vows were fucked up. I would need more info to be completely sure, but I’m pretty much ready to call that group you came from a cult. If you ever hear of them doing a ‘cool-aid drink off’ run for help.

What an inhuman mess. And I thought things were messed up at the old church we went to in MI. Not even close by comparison.

]]> By: atimetorend http://de-conversion.com/2009/10/14/the-wedding-saga-my-dilemma/#comment-38300 Thu, 29 Oct 2009 13:26:05 +0000 http://de-conversion.com/?p=3182#comment-38300 Good job sucking it all and being in the wedding and wading through all that stuff. I doubt there will be a point in the future where you say to yourself, “I shouldn’t have been in my brother’s wedding.” Much more likely the opposite could be true if you had not done so.

“…we should think and pray about it…”

At least he word “think” was used along with “pray.” I’m not sure it is included in the standard issue version of that phrase… It is funny and I’m sure frustrating, but it sounds like you were able to exert some positive influence over the situation.

]]> By: Joshua http://de-conversion.com/2009/10/14/the-wedding-saga-my-dilemma/#comment-38293 Thu, 29 Oct 2009 02:08:01 +0000 http://de-conversion.com/?p=3182#comment-38293 The next morning I have a talk with my dad and do everything in my power to restore his relationship with the elder. After all of the conversation, my dad turns to my mom and says “well, maybe it is time we begin to restore communication… we should think and pray about it…”

Good God. Shoot me now. What a fucking mess.

I can’t help but think a college education among most of these men would fix 90% of their problems. Even a basic psychology course would do wonders.

Anyway, as I left home in my car a wave of relief rushed over me…

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