Whacked Bible Contradictions: 5
“If there be any mistake in the Bible, there may well be a thousand. If there be one falsehood in that book, it did not come from the God of truth.” — John Wesley (July 24, 1776)
Just one John? I think I found a few… hundred.
Now do y’all remember from Sunday school what Judas did with his thirty pieces of silver? If you’re not sure, that’s OK, ’cause neither is the Holy Spirit who inspired the authors of Holy Writ. Judas may have
Thrown the reward money into the temple.
Matthew 27:5 — “After he threw the money into the temple he went away and hanged himself.”
Bought a field with the money.
Acts 1:18 — “With the reward he got for his wickedness, Judas bought a field; there he fell headlong.”
Oh. That’s a contradiction, not a falsehood? Ah. Well then how about this.
Do badgers chew cud? The Bible says, “Yeah.” … twice
Leviticus 11:6 — “The coney [hyrax or rock badger], though it chews the cud, does not have a split hoof; it is unclean for you. The rabbit, though it chews the cud, does not have a split hoof; it is unclean for you.”
Deuteronomy 14:6-7 – “You may eat any animal that has a split hoof divided in two and that chews the cud. However, of those that chew the cud or that have a split hoof completely divided you may not eat the camel, the rabbit or the coney [hyrax or rock badger]. Although they chew the cud, they do not have a split hoof; they are ceremonially unclean for you.”)
Would it be different if Jesus made the mistake or contradiction? OK. How about these two from the same Bible book?
John 8:14 — “Jesus answered and said unto them, though I bear record [marturia] of myself, yet my record [marturia] IS TRUE.”
John 5:31 — “If I bear witness [marturia] of myself, my witness [marturia] IS NOT TRUE.”
(Marturia means “bear witness” or “testify”, and it’s the same word used in both verses above.)
Want another ‘in the same book’ contradiction by the late JC?
Matthew 5:16 — “let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”
Matthew 6:1 — “Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heave.”
And now for the big contest; see if you can guess:
Is it God, or is it Satan, or is it BibleGodDevil?
(or maybe it’s ManBearPig.)
II Samuel 24:1 says that the Lord incited David to take a census of Israel.
I Chronicles 21:1 says that Satan incited David to take a census of Israel.
Which do you think it was?
In I Samuel 16:14, we read that “an evil spirit from the Lord” troubled King Saul.
Wow. God sends evil spirits. Would anyone really want to worship a God who sends evil spirits to trouble people? Would you like it if he sent one of his evil spirits to trouble you?
Do you believe that God creates evil, as the Bible states?
Isaiah 45:7 — “I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.” If you believe this, why do you worship Him?
Sounds like “God” has a massive, cosmic case of the worst bipolar disorder ever.