Comments on: Turtleism in the Age of Reason

By: Parodatheist

Parodatheist — Mon, 31 May 2010 14:21:38 +0000

I spy with my little eye another Discworld fan in Ubi Dubium! This is absolutely hilarious, even though it is heresy against the might of the Invisible Pink Unicorn. RAmen!

By: Jeffrey

Jeffrey — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 22:40:14 +0000

This is the best parody of apologetics I’ve seen since NonStampCollector’s “The thing that made the thing for which there is no known maker” . Actually, this one might be even better.

I especially liked:

“What does the Earth sit on?” Scientists have demonstrated that gravity pulls down. Therefore, we stand firmly on our front porch. Our front porch stands firmly on the cement, the cement on a substrate of clay, the clay on bedrock, and so on. What is the first foundation that supports all that is? Aturtleists have yet to give me a coherent response.”

That’s a brilliant example even outside the context of satire. Among other things, it shows just how retarded it is to argue for Turtlism by arguing against Aturtlism.

By: 4riozs

4riozs — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 00:04:13 +0000

Sounds like someone had alot of time on their hands. Funny though. Whoever wrote it must have been caged in by the east coast snow storm.

By: Ubi Dubium

Ubi Dubium — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 21:40:27 +0000

Ah, Phil, but what if you’re wrong? What if you get to heaven and you find youself face to face with a Holy Elephant? Hadn’t you better believe in them too just to be safe? I shall call this Pachyderm’s Wager.

(Phil, thanks for posting this, this is great fun! RAmen!)

By: Stephen P

Stephen P — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 20:39:41 +0000

Very nicely done, Phil.

By: Phil Stilwell

Phil Stilwell — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 18:19:01 +0000

You’re a heretic, Ubi.

Remember that not everyone who says “Turtle, Turtle” will enter the Kingdom of Infinite Legs.

By: Ubi Dubium

Ubi Dubium — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 14:44:04 +0000

No, no NO! You have it all wrong! The Earth does not sit directly on the Turtle, it rests on the backs of the four Holy Elephants who are standing on the back of the Turtle. How can you not be aware of something so obvious? Oh, poor misguided soul that ye have strayed so far from the truth. The Turtle, Great A’Tuin Himself, surely has a firey doom prepared for you!

By: UNRR

UNRR — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 13:29:10 +0000

This post has been linked for the HOT5 Daily 2/13/2010, at The Unreligious Right

By: Scott

Scott — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 12:37:40 +0000

You are a bad boy!

Everyone knows that turtlists are idiots. Cobra is the one true reptile!

So repent and kiss the Cobra lest he be angry with you. After all, the holy book says that if you believe in Cobra, his poisonous venom will not harm you.