Comments on: Arrogance

By: phyllis

phyllis — Sun, 21 Nov 2010 04:38:01 +0000

hmm, arrogance, humility, good, evil black and white. I hate to sound Zen, but it is what it is. We assign value and meaning to things that are primarily abstract. It’s like the Buddhism concept of desire; desire causes suffering, or I think more accurately attachment to desire causes suffering. Yet Buddhists desire enlightenment, we desire peace. Is that bad in and out of itself? No, it’s when we are blinded by our desires or like I said attached to our desire, or the outcome that we try to cling to.
We all our arrogant and we all are humble, sometimes at the same time. Should we obsess about it? Or just recognize it and then move on.
I also think there is a difference between Humility and low self-esteem, like there is a difference between healthy self-esteem and arrogance. Humility is not bragging about accomplishments but still acknowledging them as yours.It’s being down to Earth about who you are. With arrogance those accomplishes lifts you above everyone else, allowing a false sense of self one will try to impress on others and themselves.

By: Ken Browning

Ken Browning — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 23:13:50 +0000

In post-Christian life I focus on skepticism rather than humility. I want to closely approximate reality. The battle for personal honesty is where the value of skepticism (and healthy humility) is best found.

By: notabarbie

notabarbie — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 14:36:11 +0000

Josh wrote: “…it is really nice to not have to worry about how close I am to achieving the perfection God wants from me. I no longer have to worry about getting excited about being close and then getting depressed at suddenly becoming arrogant about it.”

Been there, done that. Yes, it feels so mentally healthy not to have to grapple with that bull sh*t any more. Great post. All the comments were great too. Thanks!

By: Dave

Dave — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 15:15:40 +0000

Hm, i never thought of humility like that, or really got caught up in the things you describe. I think the ‘will of God’ thing just overdid it mentally for me. Humility now to me is “I’m not God nor am I expected to be, I just live me life and if I navigate off course, I will know.’ Didn’t have to go searching through my life and pry everything apart in an attempt to fix myself. Plenty of people have tried to make me do that and I bought into it for too long.

By: Richard

Richard — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 14:13:46 +0000

Josh – there s actuall an entire school of psychotherapy that emphasizes the toxicity of just these sorts of “verbal rules”, as it calls them, and the way they tie us into knots trying to follow them. I.e., you’re not supposed to think aboyt humility, but that rule cannot be followed, b/c the rule itself contains the word “humility”: so you cant follow the rule without bringing it to mind. Like “whatever you do, dont think of a polar bear.”

The way it manifested for me was that to truly live a Christian life, you must submit your will to God: “empty” yourself of your own will & let God will fill you. But how can you “empty” yourself of your will without choosing to: i.e., by act of will. So you must assert your will in order to deny it. Drove me absolutely batshit.

The larger issue for me is, any guide to life that insists you feel something in particular, or not feel something in particular, is setting you up for devestatiing and utter failure. Our feelings are not under voluntary control, and we only make ourselves miserable failyres trying to do so. I think that is part of how the Christian meme breaks you, and keeps you: it gives you impossible tasks that are nonetheless taught to be critical for living a good Christian life. You cant succeed, but its vital to your life that you do succeed. Its a trap.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 22:00:46 +0000

Of course it seems obvious when you look at it from the outside, but from the inside it isn’t so clear at all.
Those who simply try not to be a dick and have a reasonable assessment of their abilities are looked down on from those inside the circle.
And ultimately, isn’t Christianity about having the ‘right’ kind of arrogance?

By: BigHouse

BigHouse — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 17:45:53 +0000

Snuggly has it right.

As per usual with Christian sentiments, they construe Arrogance and Humilty as a black and white issue, rather than the sliding scale it actually resides on. In the middle are reasonable confidence in ones ability and reasonable dampening of one’s confidence for proper social context.

By: SnugglyBuffalo

SnugglyBuffalo — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 15:43:34 +0000

Rather than try to be humble, I just try not to be a dick. I don’t see anything wrong with having pride in my accomplishments, but when I present those accomplishments to others I shouldn’t do so in a way that makes them feel inferior.

By: Joshua

Joshua — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 15:38:01 +0000

I think of real humility, at least humility that’s worthwhile, is never deliberately building yourself up by putting another person down.

I like that a lot.

Sarah, really glad I can be of help – I really am. I figure I’m not the only one trying to deal with stuff like this

By: Ubi Dubium

Ubi Dubium — Fri, 25 Jun 2010 05:29:32 +0000

Rosita’s a therapist, I’m pretty sure, and the TV appearance is not until July 4th. (Available on most PBS stations in the US)

Talking about xians berating each other for arrogance is to me, pretty ironic. Because I see it as the height of arrogance to proclaim “I have all the answers to everything, and anybody who disagrees with me is going straight to hell” and “We are god’s special people, this whole universe was created for our benefit, and we are better than you because we are True Christians.” And these same people then beat each other down if any of them dare to feel good about a personal accomplishment. Ooogh.

I think of real humility, at least humility that’s worthwhile, is never deliberately building yourself up by putting another person down. Let your talents shine, have confidence in what you are good at, appreciate the thanks you get, and appreciate everybody else for their talents. And be sure to tell them that you appreciate their talents. (But that doesn’t mean you have to take any crap from anybody either.)