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	<title>Comments on: The concept of God as a surrogate parent</title>
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	<link>http://de-conversion.com/2012/10/02/the-concept-of-god-as-a-surrogate-parent/</link>
	<description>Resources for skeptical, de-converting, or former Christians......</description>
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		<title>By: cag</title>
		<link>http://de-conversion.com/2012/10/02/the-concept-of-god-as-a-surrogate-parent/#comment-74846</link>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[cag]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 10 Feb 2013 05:50:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://de-conversion.com/?p=3865#comment-74846</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Demetrius May, you would probably find more information on a site geared to religion. This site is for people who reject religion as being totally and absolutely ridiculous and of no value. 

A word of advise - priests are paid to lie, and the biggest lie of all is the concept of god. When you are ready for truth rather than superstitious lies, come back here.]]></description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Demetrius May, you would probably find more information on a site geared to religion. This site is for people who reject religion as being totally and absolutely ridiculous and of no value. </p>
<p>A word of advise &#8211; priests are paid to lie, and the biggest lie of all is the concept of god. When you are ready for truth rather than superstitious lies, come back here.</p>
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		<title>By: Demetrius May</title>
		<link>http://de-conversion.com/2012/10/02/the-concept-of-god-as-a-surrogate-parent/#comment-74837</link>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[Demetrius May]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 10 Feb 2013 04:39:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://de-conversion.com/?p=3865#comment-74837</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Can anyone point me to any Orthodox resources, patristic or otherwise, that discuss issues relating to children obeying and honoring their parents and the nature of parental authority? I am specifically interested in the issue of adult, unmarried children relating to their parents. I came from a Protestant sect that heavily emphasized the belief that sons and daughters remain under the authority of their parents until such time as they get married and form their own households. For example, they use Numbers 30 to demonstrate the authority that fathers have over their daughters, which is given over to the husbands upon the time of marriage. The way this sometimes (and it is widespread in certain conservative Protestant circles) works itself out is that young women who are unmarried are required by their parents to remain living at home and are not allowed to attend college, get a job outside the home, own and/or drive a car, etc. This degree of control is usually, but not always, lessened with sons, however. My priest has told me that this amount of parental control is not supported by the Church, and he gave me examples of female saints disobeying their fathers, but I am interested in more detailed explanations of the nature and role of parental authority, particularly in the lives of daughters. Any help in these matters is most appreciated!]]></description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Can anyone point me to any Orthodox resources, patristic or otherwise, that discuss issues relating to children obeying and honoring their parents and the nature of parental authority? I am specifically interested in the issue of adult, unmarried children relating to their parents. I came from a Protestant sect that heavily emphasized the belief that sons and daughters remain under the authority of their parents until such time as they get married and form their own households. For example, they use Numbers 30 to demonstrate the authority that fathers have over their daughters, which is given over to the husbands upon the time of marriage. The way this sometimes (and it is widespread in certain conservative Protestant circles) works itself out is that young women who are unmarried are required by their parents to remain living at home and are not allowed to attend college, get a job outside the home, own and/or drive a car, etc. This degree of control is usually, but not always, lessened with sons, however. My priest has told me that this amount of parental control is not supported by the Church, and he gave me examples of female saints disobeying their fathers, but I am interested in more detailed explanations of the nature and role of parental authority, particularly in the lives of daughters. Any help in these matters is most appreciated!</p>
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		<title>By: BigHouse</title>
		<link>http://de-conversion.com/2012/10/02/the-concept-of-god-as-a-surrogate-parent/#comment-56225</link>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[BigHouse]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Oct 2012 00:29:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://de-conversion.com/?p=3865#comment-56225</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Excellent post, Leo, and good to see this blog and the gang back at it...]]></description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Excellent post, Leo, and good to see this blog and the gang back at it&#8230;</p>
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		<title>By: cag</title>
		<link>http://de-conversion.com/2012/10/02/the-concept-of-god-as-a-surrogate-parent/#comment-56215</link>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[cag]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Oct 2012 04:57:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://de-conversion.com/?p=3865#comment-56215</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The problem as I see it is that there are about 3000 &quot;fathers/parents&quot; to choose from. If you don&#039;t mind, I&#039;ll remain an orphan.]]></description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The problem as I see it is that there are about 3000 &#8220;fathers/parents&#8221; to choose from. If you don&#8217;t mind, I&#8217;ll remain an orphan.</p>
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		<title>By: evangelically incorrect</title>
		<link>http://de-conversion.com/2012/10/02/the-concept-of-god-as-a-surrogate-parent/#comment-56214</link>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[evangelically incorrect]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 03 Oct 2012 02:23:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://de-conversion.com/?p=3865#comment-56214</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My personal relationship with God had very strong Parental tones to it. It is scary to lose that relationship and be left &quot;alone,&quot; if you will, unprotected, uncared for, unnurtured. It&#039;s a rude awakening  for those of us who have been steeped in religion.]]></description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My personal relationship with God had very strong Parental tones to it. It is scary to lose that relationship and be left &#8220;alone,&#8221; if you will, unprotected, uncared for, unnurtured. It&#8217;s a rude awakening  for those of us who have been steeped in religion.</p>
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		<title>By: empy</title>
		<link>http://de-conversion.com/2012/10/02/the-concept-of-god-as-a-surrogate-parent/#comment-56205</link>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[empy]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Oct 2012 18:25:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://de-conversion.com/?p=3865#comment-56205</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ack would you please delete my previous post. It is somehow connected with my real name on gravatar, and gravatar is not letting me sign into my account. Ugh.]]></description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Ack would you please delete my previous post. It is somehow connected with my real name on gravatar, and gravatar is not letting me sign into my account. Ugh.</p>
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		<title>By: empy</title>
		<link>http://de-conversion.com/2012/10/02/the-concept-of-god-as-a-surrogate-parent/#comment-56204</link>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[empy]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Oct 2012 18:21:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://de-conversion.com/?p=3865#comment-56204</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[First of all, I swear this site disappeared for a LONG time, and then I see posts in my feed today. Yipee!!! It’s a miracle!

Second, it’s funny when atheists come up with a great theory about religion that is actually a PART of religion. Umm, you know that a lot of religious people use the words “mother” or “father” or some variation when referring to their god? It doesn’t take critical thinking to come up with this theory.:) But I do definitely agree. I think that most people are much more comfortable when the rules to the game are supplied for them by an authority. Most people cringe at the idea of anarchy and envision people running in the streets murdering each other. I think they feel much the same way about a world with no god. How could we possibly get on? How could there be any meaning? It’s too much work to have to come up with values and morals on our own and much easier to trust someone more powerful to sort everything out.

Now that I have toddler, I find myself thinking a lot about how I’m going to teach her – not only critical thinking but also the kind of habits and social behaviors that will most likely set her up for a happy life. It is a challenge to figure out how to teach a child ANYthing without teaching them to obey authority at the same time. Obeying authority is not necessarily the lesson I aim to teach her, but there are some things she would much better learn through my experiences than her own. It is quite a challenge to ponder, and the outcome probably just as much depends on her personality as it does my efforts. I do think that most parents give in and use their authority a LOT, and most kids are afraid to question it until the teen years (they get yelled at for “talking back” when they do!). So begins the religious personality. And I think it’s critical to teach my daughter something other than the religious personality, so I guess I’ll be talking to myself in the shower for years to come in preparation for all those discussions that are in our future!]]></description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>First of all, I swear this site disappeared for a LONG time, and then I see posts in my feed today. Yipee!!! It’s a miracle!</p>
<p>Second, it’s funny when atheists come up with a great theory about religion that is actually a PART of religion. Umm, you know that a lot of religious people use the words “mother” or “father” or some variation when referring to their god? It doesn’t take critical thinking to come up with this theory.:) But I do definitely agree. I think that most people are much more comfortable when the rules to the game are supplied for them by an authority. Most people cringe at the idea of anarchy and envision people running in the streets murdering each other. I think they feel much the same way about a world with no god. How could we possibly get on? How could there be any meaning? It’s too much work to have to come up with values and morals on our own and much easier to trust someone more powerful to sort everything out.</p>
<p>Now that I have toddler, I find myself thinking a lot about how I’m going to teach her – not only critical thinking but also the kind of habits and social behaviors that will most likely set her up for a happy life. It is a challenge to figure out how to teach a child ANYthing without teaching them to obey authority at the same time. Obeying authority is not necessarily the lesson I aim to teach her, but there are some things she would much better learn through my experiences than her own. It is quite a challenge to ponder, and the outcome probably just as much depends on her personality as it does my efforts. I do think that most parents give in and use their authority a LOT, and most kids are afraid to question it until the teen years (they get yelled at for “talking back” when they do!). So begins the religious personality. And I think it’s critical to teach my daughter something other than the religious personality, so I guess I’ll be talking to myself in the shower for years to come in preparation for all those discussions that are in our future!</p>
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	<item>
		<title>By: ubi dubium</title>
		<link>http://de-conversion.com/2012/10/02/the-concept-of-god-as-a-surrogate-parent/#comment-56203</link>
		<dc:creator><![CDATA[ubi dubium]]></dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Oct 2012 17:11:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://de-conversion.com/?p=3865#comment-56203</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I once saw someone else comment that we do indeed have a &quot;hole in our hearts&quot;, but that hole is not &quot;god-shaped&quot;.  Rather the god we create for ourselves is &quot;hole-shaped&quot;.

I agree most heartily with your post.  Over the past years, I&#039;ve been trying to figure out what it is about human nature that results in people everywhere being so religious.  One of the factors that I think is involved is &quot;a credulous childhood&quot;, as you described above.  As children, not only do we trust in the authority of parents, but we &lt;i&gt;must&lt;/i&gt; trust in their authority if we are to survive.  When they say &quot;don&#039;t go in the woods, there&#039;s a tiger&quot;, or &quot;don&#039;t chase a ball into the street&quot;, there&#039;s a very strong selective pressure for believing those warnings. So we are saddled with this inclination to trust parental authority, even when it is no longer appropriate.]]></description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I once saw someone else comment that we do indeed have a &#8220;hole in our hearts&#8221;, but that hole is not &#8220;god-shaped&#8221;.  Rather the god we create for ourselves is &#8220;hole-shaped&#8221;.</p>
<p>I agree most heartily with your post.  Over the past years, I&#8217;ve been trying to figure out what it is about human nature that results in people everywhere being so religious.  One of the factors that I think is involved is &#8220;a credulous childhood&#8221;, as you described above.  As children, not only do we trust in the authority of parents, but we <i>must</i> trust in their authority if we are to survive.  When they say &#8220;don&#8217;t go in the woods, there&#8217;s a tiger&#8221;, or &#8220;don&#8217;t chase a ball into the street&#8221;, there&#8217;s a very strong selective pressure for believing those warnings. So we are saddled with this inclination to trust parental authority, even when it is no longer appropriate.</p>
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