“I have been on this site for several weeks now and the views shared here have challenged me greatly. I was wondering if some of the de-cons might answer a couple questions?

1. There are Christians like myself who claim that the universe is finely tuned and shows evidence of being created by God. I have read many arguments refuting this claim, but what have you found to be the best one and most irrefutable?
   
2. How can atheism truly support the evolution of sacrificial love? Dawkins arguments on this subject seem inadequate. Do you have any others?
   

According to Joan’s testimony, she “woke up one morning a churchgoing agnostic (following years of rabid atheism) and put [her] head to the pillow that night a newly minted, highly unlikely Christian.” Of course, she was recently told by an atheist that because she converted, she was never a “real” atheist.

Here’s her reaction to our humble blog:

Now de-conversion may be a hot topic in Bible-college circles, but I wasn’t even sure if it was a real word. Webster’s online says that it’s not, but the folks that are contributing and commenting at http://de-conversion.com use it frequently.

She continues:

I am sure that there is much to be said theologically about whether or not “de-conversion” is possible if a person had a genuine experience with Jesus, and I am not remotely studied enough to go there, but as I read the posts of dozens of self-proclaimed “former believers” I saw a pattern emerge:

1. I grew up in the church and loved the Lord once.
2. I began to question and doubt.
3. My questions and doubts were either dismissed or ignored or responded to with platitudes that I could not accept.
4. When it was clear that I would not be satisfied with platitudes, I was told that I was defective, i.e. I wasn’t really saved in the first place, I was looking for an excuse to sin, etc.
5. I am grateful to find this community of people who are also doubters and skeptics (and ultimately unbelievers) so that I do not have to walk this path away from the faith of my childhood on my own.

She concludes her post with a statement and a question:

…many of the posts betray what I interpret to be sadness as a result of the perceived loss of faith. It may be wishful thinking on my part, but a number of the respondents still attend church and participate in ministry despite what they describe to be a sense of isolation and unbelief. It made me wonder who these people are and how their churches (and churches in general) tend to handle a person who is struggling with a perceived loss of faith?

Are de-cons open to returning to the faith or is that impossible?

Here are a few of the responses from d-C contributors and readers:

I try to remain open to returning to my old faith, but am seeing less and less possibility as time goes on and searches prove unfruitful.
- Quester

I’m open to learning new things and changing my mind. However, after studying and seeking for over 40 years, I really doubt that I will suddenly discover that God is real. - writerdd

Sort of like asking Christians if they are open to new religions, is it not? Only in this case we are people who have at least admitted that we are capable of changing our minds on the subject. The problem is that this question implies that this was a conscious decision on our parts. For myself, and most here, it isn’t. If the evidence in support of whatever version of Christianity is strong enough, I am sure I would accept it – as a former apologeticist, I have only found that it fails in every historical and philosophical aspect known to myself. - TheApostate

“With God all things are possible.” That’s not totally tongue-in-cheek. If there is a god, and if he can show me he’s real, I would love to believe again. I’d be back “in the fold” in a moment if God would really act as he often did in the Bible. (Healings, epiphanies, prophecies, etc) But as long as there is NO activity or other evidence of existence on God’s part, I cannot believe. - LeoPardus

No, it is not impossible – but it is very highly unlikely. I have read – and still read – plenty of apologetic books. But I have also read plenty of other books that show how these Christian apologetics really cheat with facts and logic – I don’t know if it willful or not, but … and I hate to sound condescending, but I can see right through most of it. I do not engage online much anymore, but I am asking more and more questions of my old Christian friends. I have asked God countless times to give me a reason to hang on to belief. I figure if God wants me to believe, he knows how to do it. Maybe someday he will!! But until that day comes, I cannot build my faith based on the personal experience of others. - HeIsSailing

It would be like returning to an abusive ex.

- The Nerd

If I am honest, I still hold on to a single thread of my faith now. But I hope to cut that thread soon because its based solely in fear. - WalkingAway

Impossible. I could see myself attending a church for social reasons (e. g., a UU church or an ethical society)
- blueollie

It is very very unlikely that I will return to belief. I am as sure as Richard Dawkins about this. However it is possible to use brainwashing techniques like or other immoral and covert methods to take me back to where I was. But that won’t last long, I will still crawl back on feet with the crutches of reason and morality. (One of the evangelical leaders of the catholic “cult” my mom’s part of, tried to threaten me of using his political powers to get me identified as medically insane and tried other immoral ways to get me back into faith, but I crawled back into atheism within a month.) - edwinhere

At this point I cannot see myself re-believing. I would need evidence, and at this point I do not see any forthcoming.
- Nick

I don’t know how to answer this one. If I had good reasons to, of course. But I don’t, so I don’t see any reason to. It’s possible, but not unless there’s a reason to. – Bad

It is impossible for me to return to mainstream Christianity. There would be a possibility for some of the more esoteric paths. Of course those are not considered Christian by most, so not sure it would still be possible. But then again, I am not technically an Atheist either since I do believe in a creative force, that we are all a part of. - dancingmoogle

I’m not planning to return to that particular faith or any similar.

- Clair

I could never return to the faith the way things are now, but if there was to be some sort of extraordinary evidence that made doubting the existence of god require more faith and denial of more facts than belief in god does now, then sure, I would believe again. - orDover

Short of the Rapture actually occurring, I don’t see myself ever returning. (But I could be mistaken!) - Ubi Dubium

I’m definitely open to returning. But I need a reason to return. “Feelings” and mundane miracles aren’t God. I can’t believe in a God that only chooses to reveal himself in ways that non-believers experience with the same frequency. Given that after 23 years of belief I can find no evidence of a real God, I don’t really expect to find it now. - SnugglyBuffalo

I spent several years looking for even the slightest reason to stay and my ultimate goal was to find the truth. If I find that I have reached this decision in error…of course I would return. - finallyhappy

That depends on what you mean by “faith.” If you mean a belief in the Christian God, then yes, I am open to that, if given sufficient evidence. If you mean “faith” as a method of thinking, then no. Faith is a broken way of thinking. This can be easily demonstrated. - SavageBeginner

I would return in a moment, given my extensive involvement in the church. However, I can’t do so until I see a reason to believe in it over any other religious system. - Bob

I can’t currently imagine anything that would make me return to Christianity, or any other religion. – Stephen P.

Not going to happen. At least not the Christian faith. I never say never in terms of what I may believe down the road, but Christianity has pretty much killed any desire I would have to go back. - SarahC

No. Why? Because after researching and learning many other religions, I have found that 99% of them are all the same with the same basic principles. It doesn’t matter which one you belong to, that is like having 6 different colored t-shirts of the same kind…doesn’t matter, there are only minor differences. – Sandy

Can you provide reliable evidence, or even a sound logical argument that doesn’t just prove that a god “isn’t impossible?” Even then, is that god worthy of worship? - Steve

I’ve always been open to returning to the faith, just as soon as someone could produce ANY evidence whatsoever that it’s not just a big dog-and-pony show in the land of make believe. But let’s be honest… that’s never going to happen. - Randy Hunt

Then my 24 yr. old daughter fell in love with an atheist. I love my children more than anything. I want the best for them. My daughter has had her share of downers in her young life. Chronic illness, depression, numerous failures, disappointment in people and especially in boyfriends. This man is everything she has wanted. He is kind, responsible, honest, hard working, treats her wonderfully, encourages her to be her best, and really loves her. We’ve always told our children that the most important thing when looking for a mate is to be sure they are a Christian. The funny thing is that he has better values than most Christian guys she has dated.

At first, my reaction was terror. I live in the South where admitted atheists are a scary oddity. What to do…Should I call all our Christian friends and have a prayer vigil asking God to take this infidel out of my daughter’s life? Do I beg her to break up with him? Do I fear for her soul? Do I grieve for her? Surprisingly, I felt happy and excited for her. What was wrong with me? How could I be happy for her? …

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Here is what he found:

1. Dissatisfaction with the answers to simple questions proffered by the religion was the most common reason cited for de-conversion amongst the sample (14.89%).
2. The realisation that religious dogma contradicted observable reality was the second most an equally common reason for de-conversion cited within the sample (also at 14.89%).
3. 12.76% of the de-converted Christians in the sample spoke about realising the contradictions within the dogma itself.
4. For 10.63% of people in the sample, reading the bible was significant in ending their faith.
5. Only 8.51% of people in the sample attributed their de-conversion to the hypocrisy of the church.
6. In another 8.51% of the de-conversion stories, people tried to speak to god and they now credit god’s lack of an answer for their de-conversion
7. And finally, stumbling across the realisation that many religions were just like theirs caused deep doubts for 8.5% of the sample he read.

Here are the links to the series (not in the same order as above):

• Answer the damn question Mr. Priest!
• Logical Problems with the Dogma
• The Bible Killed My Faith
• The Hypocritical Churches
• The Problem of Other Religions
• Stand Back, I’m going to try SCIENCE!
• Where are you Jesus?

NOTE: Feel free to copy this post to your personal blog if you wish to link to the series.

Graphic Source: The Dallas Morning News Full Survey Data: The Pew Forum

Graphic Source: The Dallas Morning News Full Survey Data: The Pew Forum

The debate is moderated by Brian LePort, a Political Inquirer contributor.

• Introduction: God in Society, an Atheism-Theism Debate
• Round One: Five Questions and Responses
• Round Two: The Next Set of Questions and Answers
• Final Statement 1: Why I am a Theist – M
• Final Statement 2: Why I am an Atheist – LeoPardus